Out of the Ashes (SB)
by missalex3030
Summary: It seemed like it was only yesterday that they were at each other's throats. Yet, here Rachel stood, her heart in pieces on the floor as she watched him fight his restraints. Tears leaked from her eyes as he called her name, begging for her to believe him. But how could she, after what he had done?
1. Chapter 1

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**Out of the Ashes**

**1**

It was not that Rachel hated her family, exactly. However, she could think of a million ways she'd prefer to spend her time than sitting with her mother and father for tea every morning, afternoon and night. For example, she'd much rather prick her fingers repeatedly on the thorns that stuck out of the emerald stems of the crimson rose bushes in the backyard. Or pluck each and every long eyelash from her eyelids one by one. She'd even prefer listening to Professor Slughorn go on and on about the famous witches and wizards he had met in his long lifetime than be forced to sit here with her parents time and time again.

They weren't awful people. In fact, Rachel could name a dozen other people she'd hate to have as parents. They just didn't understand Rachel the way she wished they would have. While they did not thrust their pureblood supremacy beliefs upon her, they did not hesitate to wrinkle their noses and look at her with contempt whenever she spoke of her friends who were, in their opinion, less than desirable company. As strongly as they felt about purity, they allowed Rachel to lead her own life, which was more than she could say for some of her classmates. Rachel knew that she should be grateful for parents who accepted the way she felt and chose to live her life because it could have been much worse, especially in the dark times that were approaching. She just wished that they would keep the disapproving looks and comments to themselves from time to time.

Today, Rachel was glaring at her mother from across the oversized dining table as she sipped her tea. Rachel bit her tongue as her mother smiled sweetly at her as though she had said nothing wrong. If Rachel had to hear one more time how 'suitable' Evan Rosier was, she was going to throw herself in front of the Night Bus. Her mother, Noelle, had a tendency to put her nose precisely where it does not belong, a habit Rachel found exceedingly irritating.

Her mother brushed her long black hair away from her pale face with her perfectly manicured fingers. She batted her thick eyelashes innocently and watched Rachel closely through her wide blue eyes. She puckered her plump pink lips, the only feature she had passed onto Rachel, and delicately fingered the rim of her cup. She raised an ebony eyebrow on her forehead, waiting for a response from her daughter.

"Leave the girl alone, Noelle. She's hardly old enough for a boyfriend, anyway," Rachel's father, Brian, spoke in a bored tone as his eyes lazily scanned the Daily Prophet.

He moved his round spectacles with his stubby fingers before rubbing his shaven jaw. As he turned the page of the Prophet, his green eyes flickered over the top of the paper and he winked at Rachel before raising a warning eyebrow. Rachel shook her head at him and rolled her own olive eyes, almost the exact same shade of green as her father's.

"I'm sixteen, Father," Rachel scoffed.

"Forgive me, Rachel," he said, laying down his paper, "did you want your mother to arrange this date for you, then?"

"No," Rachel mumbled bitterly.

"Why not, Rachel? He's a pleasant boy with lovely parents. His bloodline is crystal clear back to the beginning of time," Noelle persisted.

"How could anyone possibly know anything about the beginning of time, Mother?" Rachel remarked smartly.

"My point is, Evan Rosier is a perfect suitor and there is no reason you should not give him a chance," Noelle said simply, taking another dainty sip from her porcelain teacup.

Oh, Mother, if you only knew, Rachel thought to herself.

"He's not for me, Mother," Rachel stated firmly.

"Fine, then. I'll keep looking," Noelle said. "How about Lucius Malfoy?"

Rachel had had enough. She rose to her feet quickly, he legs of the mahogany dining chair scraped loudly against the polished wood floor. She tossed her cloth napkin on to the table, threw one final glare at her mother, and left the dining room with her heels clicking against the floorboards as she went. She pushed open the large French doors and stepped onto the stone patio out back. She followed the stone path through the gardens until she was deep enough into the maze of hedges and bushes that she could no longer see the enormous house.

Rachel strode towards the familiar fountain in the center of the maze and sat down on its marble edge. She rested her bony elbows against her knees and sighed loudly. Rachel didn't understand why her mother always felt it necessary to meddle in her business. Most of the time, Rachel wished she had a younger sibling to push her mother off on, make them deal with her intrusive ways.

Rachel tugged her obnoxiously high heeled shoes from her little feet and pressed the soles of her feet against the hot stone of the fountain as she swung herself to sit sideways. Her tight white pencil skirt hugged her thighs closely as she pulled her knees towards her chest. She pressed the palms of her hands against the fountain's edge behind her, extending her arms to support her weight as she tossed her head backwards. Her long chestnut colored hair swept behind her, blown away with the warm summer breeze, as her tanned face soaked up the heat of the sunshine.

Rachel listened to the sounds of running water as it sprayed from the highest point of the fountain, cascading down to the deepest level. She dipped her index finger into the cool water and swiveled it around a bit, playing with the crystal blue liquid. She listened to the birds chirp loudly as they sung a pleasant tune for all to hear. A loud crack, however, disrupted their song, and the birds fell silent as Rachel turned her head in surprise.

"Mistress Riatt," a small house-elf squeaked as she bowed her head until her large pointed noise tapped the ground.

"Lulu, I told you to call me Rachel," Rachel smiled at the little elf.

"Mistress Rachel," the elf corrected humbly. "Master Riatt requests that you come inside for lunch."

"Alright, Lulu, I'll be right there," Rachel smiled and patted her head before swinging her feet back over the edge of the fountain.

The little elf disappeared with another loud crack and Rachel ruffled her long wavy hair a bit. She forced her feet back inside her cream-colored shoes before rising to her full height. She took her time strolling through the gardens as she made her way back to the house. She opened the back door and entered the sunroom, quietly closing the door behind her. Her shoes clicked against the floor as she strolled through the large house towards the living room where she was certain her parents and their guests would be awaiting her arrival.

She lifted her chin with false pride as she entered the dimly lit room, walking to stand beside the roaring fireplace. Three guests sat on the large emerald couch while Rachel's father sat comfortably in a black leather arm chair with her mother standing confidently beside him. The four seated individuals rose to their feet upon her entrance and Rachel smiled brilliantly.

"Orion, Walburga, how lovely to see you," Rachel greeted, bowing her head slightly as she extended her hand.

Orion Black took her fingertips in his and pressed his lips to her knuckles, his charming smile present on his lips. Walburga Black, Orion's wife, stepped forward and gently pecked each of Rachel's cheeks with a falsely sweet smile on her crimson painted lips. Rachel's green eyes then fell on the boy standing beside his mother. His eyes were cold, the grey pools seeming to have frozen over with some kind of numbness. His black hair had been neatly groomed, his face cleanly shaven, and he gave her a half-smile as he bent forward to kiss her knuckles as his father had done.

"Rachel," he said, his voice smooth and even, "beautiful as always."

She fought the urge to roll her eyes as she subtly pulled her hand away from his.

"It's nice to see you too, Regulus," she lied easily.

Rachel was confused to see one of the Blacks were missing, but she did not question it as her mother led them into the dining room for lunch. Lulu levitated the delicious food on to the table before disappearing into the elves' kitchen with nothing but a bow. The adults carried on their conversation, occasionally dragging Regulus into it, and Rachel completely tuned out their haughty words.

"Isn't that right, Rachel?" her mother's sickly sweet voice cooed from down the table.

"I'm sorry, Mother, what was that?" Rachel asked as politely as she could.

"I said you would be pursuing a career as a Healer," her mother said, raising her thin eyebrows and narrowing her eyes slightly.

"Yes, that is my intent," Rachel confirmed.

"Do you have the marks for that?" Regulus questioned doubtfully.

"Of course I do," Rachel said with conviction. "My best friend, Lily Evans, and I have top marks in our year."

"Evans? The mudblood?" Walburga questioned with evident disdain in her shrill voice.

Rachel's blood boiled beneath her skin and she gritted her teeth together tightly. She gripped her fork within her fist and narrowed her eyes slightly. She did all she could not to reply, but she did not have to.

"Yes, Mother. The same filth I've told you Brother associates himself with," Regulus snickered pretentiously.

"Don't call him that," Rachel swore she heard Orion growl in his son's ear.

Her confusion peaked, and Rachel could think of no better way than to retaliate against Walburga than to bring up her darling son.

"Where is Sirius tonight, Walburga?" Rachel inquired thoughtfully.

A vein jetted out of her forehead as she pursed her lips together tightly as she cut into her roast chicken violently. Rachel blinked innocently before glancing to Orion and then to an awfully silent Regulus. To her disappointment, nobody provided a response regarding Sirius Black's whereabouts, and the luncheon carried on in silence.

"It was wonderful seeing all of you, we simply must do it again soon," Noelle gushed as she said her farewells to the Blacks.

"Thank you for having us, Noelle, the meal was quite lovely," Orion smiled as he pecked her cheeks before gruffly shaking Brian's hand.

Walburga followed suit and narrowed her eyes as she politely kissed Rachel goodbye.

"See you at school," Regulus muttered quietly as he pressed his lips against the back of her hand.

Rachel forced her smile until the door was closed and it promptly vanished from her full lips. She turned on her head and strode down the corridor towards the library until her mother called her name in her shrill voice.

"Yes?" Rachel asked, turning to face her.

"That was completely inappropriate! Did you see the look on Walburga's face?" Noelle cried frantically.

"Pretty priceless if you ask me," Brian mumbled from behind her, earning a fatal glare from his beautiful wife and a giggle from his stunning daughter.

"This is not a joke!" Noelle shrieked.

"Oh, calm down, Elle. It was nice to see Walburga knocked off her high horse for a change," Brian chuckled even under her piercing stare.

"'The Blacks are extremely powerful!" Noelle cried. "Now is not the time to get on their bad side."

"Do they have a good side?" Rachel asked, and her father snickered quietly.

"Something serious must have happened," Noelle thought aloud.

"It's none of my concern," Rachel shrugged, crossing her arms over her large chest.

"This is exactly why you had no business questioning it!" Noelle remarked angrily.

"Excuse me, but was I the only one who heard the way she spoke about Lily?" Rachel cried angrily.

"You will receive no sympathy from either of us for that, Rachel. You know how we feel about the company you keep," Noelle said firmly, and Brian was indeed silent.

"It was plain rude to speak of her in such a disgraceful manner after I had explicitly shared that she was my best friend," Rachel growled stubbornly.

"Maybe so, but she isn't wrong, is she? Lily is a-"

"Don't you dare," Rachel warned through her straight teeth. "You may not agree with who I choose to befriend, but you will damn well respect them."

Rachel glared at both of her parents before turning around and entering the library, sliding the enormous door shut behind her. She sat down heavily on the crimson sofa and fanned out her hair to hang over the arm. She kicked off her shoes and stretched her legs over the cushions, flexing her toes back and forth. The fire burned brightly while Rachel dug her latest read from between the couch cushions. She bent the binding and began reading the text until her eyes grew heavy. She spent the night in the library without any interruptions, only Hogwarts the following day dreams of her return to.


	2. Chapter 2

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**Out of the Ashes**

**2**

Rachel held onto her father's arm as he apparated them to King's Cross Station the following morning. Her mother, like every other year, elected to stay home and not see her daughter off before she left for school. Brian Riatt lugged his daughter's trunk towards the barrier to Platform 9 ¾ while she walked beside him carrying her rucksack. Without hesitation, Rachel strolled through the barrier with her father right behind her.

"Bye, Dad," Rachel smiled as he placed her trunk along with all the others.

"Have a good term, Rachel," he said as he hugged her quickly.

She smiled once more before stepping onto the Hogwarts Express. She did not look back to wave as many of the other students did because Rachel knew her father would not be waiting for the train to pull out of the station. Against her better judgment, she peeked through one of the windows and saw that he had, in fact, scuttled through the barrier. She tried to shake the wave of disappointment washing over her as she searched for a compartment, shaking her head to herself for being foolish enough to get her hopes up.

"Riatt! In here," a deep voice called for her.

Rachel turned around and walked back towards the sound of the voice, peeking her head into compartments until she saw the face that belonged to it. His hazel eyes sparkled behind his round glasses as he smiled up at her. His unruly black hair stuck up straight in the back as he patted the seat across from him.

"Are you asking me to sit with you to trap Lily here, Potter?" Rachel raised her eyebrow, but sat down nonetheless.

"You think so little of me, Riatt. You're my friend, whether my Lily joins us or not," James said dramatically as his eyes continuously darted towards the compartment door.

"You don't have to lie to me, James, I can tell when I'm being used," Rachel rolled her eyes, smiling brightly at him as she dropped her rucksack to the floor between her feet.

"Yeah, Prongs, she's familiar with being used considering all the blokes that have had a go the past two years," a handsome boy with black hair smirked as he entered the compartment and occupied the seat beside her.

"Piss off, Black," Rachel glared at him, tapping her sneaker against the floor.

"Trainers? A bit casual for you don't you think, Riatt?" he teased, his eyes blatantly surveying her appearance.

"I'm going for a new look, Black, what do you think?" she asked with an obvious eye roll. "You seem to be enjoying it."

"It's not bad. But I think I prefer that little number you wore to the House Cup party last year," he said, dropping his voice a bit lower. "You remember, don't you? The black dress that came to about here?"

He boldly let his fingertip graze the smooth skin of her upper thigh where her little denim shorts cut off, trailing over her soft flesh until she swatted his hand away.

"Keep your hands off of me, Black," Rachel warned.

"Hello, Rachel," Remus Lupin smiled brightly as he entered the compartment. "James, Sirius."

Rachel grinned up at him and shimmied closer to Sirius so that Remus could sit down.

"Good holiday?" she asked as he got himself situated beside her.

"Not bad," he smiled, shaking his sandy hair out of his dark blue eyes. "You?"

"You know, the usual," she shrugged her bare shoulder as she fingered a small silver pendant hanging against her chest.

"Oh no, you're sitting with them?" Lily's voice asked from the doorway.

"Hi, Lils," Rachel waved sheepishly.

"Lily flower, how was your holiday, my love?" James Potter grasped her fingers in his, only to have her yank them away.

"Don't call me that, Potter," she said through her teeth. "Really, Rachel? The first day back and I have to spend it with these toerags? No offense, Remus."

"None taken," he smirked in amusement.

"Sorry, we don't have to stay," Rachel submitted attempting to rise to her feet.

"Come on, Evans, don't be like that," Sirius said, laying the palm of his hand on Rachel's shoulder, forcing her back into her seat. "James missed you all holiday, won't you just spend the train ride with him?"

"Let me think…No," Lily spat, wrapping her slender fingers around Rachel's wrist and tugging her from her seat.

"Why does she have to go?" Sirius clutched Rachel's other wrist.

"She's _my_ friend, Black," Lily growled.

"Enough," James said grimly. "If Lily doesn't want to sit with us, she doesn't have to."

Lily wrinkled her eyebrows in confusion before a hint of a smile graced her lips.

"Thanks, Potter. Let's go, Rach," Lily mumbled, and Rachel allowed her to pull her from the compartment.

"Rosier? She tried to set you up with Rosier?" Lily asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Black's brother was next on her list, after Malfoy that is," Rachel nearly gagged.

"Not too fond of that idea, are we?" Lily joked as she pushed her waist length auburn hair away from her face.

"The idea of dating either of the Blacks is repulsive," Rachel wrinkled her nose. "Honestly, Sirius wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't such a…"

"An arrogant, womanizing, toerag?" Lily offered.

"Precisely," Rachel laughed.

"There's something different about him though, did you notice?" Lily asked pensively.

"No," Rachel replied.

"He seemed a bit…off. Not as pompous as usual, a bit more soft spoken as well," Lily observed.

"You noticed that in the thirty seconds you spent with him?" Rachel asked.

"You know I analyze everything and everyone all the time," Lily said with a smile. "He seemed a bit possessive of you, too."

"That's nothing out of the ordinary. He's been chasing me since third year because he knows he hasn't got a shot," Rachel chuckled darkly.

"Right," Lily said simply.

"His parents seemed a bit put off when I mentioned him during our luncheon, though," Rachel noted. "Regulus called him, 'Brother,' and Orion said not to refer to him as such. Walburga looked like she was going to blow a gasket at the mention of his name."

"That's curious, isn't it?" Lily wondered.

"Curious, indeed," Rachel agreed.

"Please don't sit with us. Please don't sit with us," Lily muttered to herself repeatedly.

However, her prays were unanswered, for the marauders bounded nosily towards the vacant seats beside herself and Rachel. Lily groaned loudly in annoyance as James plopped down on the bench beside her and began filling his plate with food. Rachel flashed a sympathetic smile at her redheaded best friend while Remus sat down beside her with Peter Pettigrew, a lump of a boy, to his right. Sirius squeezed himself between James and a fifth year girl who's name Rachel couldn't recall and he winked down at her, showing her his infamous lopsided smile. Rachel rolled her eyes and thanked Remus as he offered the large bowl of pudding to her.

"Potter, if you touch me with any part of your body one more time, I promise you I will hex it off," Lily seethed through her straight white teeth.

James' eyes widened in shock as he hastily jerked his hand away from Lily beneath the table. Rachel barked a loud laugh as she watched Lily's emerald eyes flash with fury.

"Come on, Evans, don't be such a prude," Sirius teased through a mouthful of food.

Rachel grimaced, watching bits of it spray through his teeth and onto the table. She dared a glance at Lily and Rachel couldn't tell if the ginger was going to scream and hex Black's face off, or run away and cry.

"Sod off, Black," Lily growled, but her voice broke halfway through.

She rose to her feet and left the dining hall in a huff. James stood up, as well, and Rachel slammed her hand on top of his, stopping him from following after her friend. James glanced down at her with a hint of frustration riddled in his hazel eyes, and Rachel only shook her head at him.

"Let her go," Rachel said, watching him until he sank back into his seat.

"Aren't you going to go after her?" Remus asked quietly.

"No, she'll want to be alone for a moment," Rachel said confidently. "James."

He had rested his head on his muscular forearms across the oak table. He slowly dragged his eyes up to hers, showing her his saddest puppy eyes he could muster. Rachel rolled her pale green eyes and smiled sadly down at his pathetic face.

"James, do you want help getting Lily?" Rachel asked, and the boy across from her perked up considerably.

"Yes!" he cried enthusiastically.

"You're not honestly going to take relationship advice from Riatt, are you, Prongs?" Sirius asked with a scoff.

"Why shouldn't he, Black?" Rachel challenged.

"Please. You're the same bird who gets shagged and dumped every other week," Sirius mocked. "You don't know the first thing about relationships."

"You don't know the first thing about my love life, Black," Rachel seethed, her cheeks burning as if flames were kissing her face.

"I know you've been bedded by more than half our year, Slytherins included," Sirius stated positively.

"You _know_ this for a fact? How do you _know_ this, Sirius?" Rachel sneered at him.

"I know what I've heard from very reliable sources," Sirius stated shortly.

"You may want to reevaluate your so-called reliable sources, then, Sirius. They don't seem to be too well-informed," Rachel said through her teeth. "Besides, I'm not speaking as a relationship guru. I'm speaking as Lily's best mate."

James nodded his head vigorously, eager to hear any information Rachel was willing to share with him. In his eyes, she was a wealth of Lily-related knowledge and he desperately needed to drink her up.

"If you really fancy Lily and you really, truly want to date her," Rachel said, softening her voice, "leave her alone."

"What?" James asked, clearly perplexed.

"If you give her space and act like you're not completely obsessed with her, it may open her eyes and her mind to the possibility of having a relationship with you," Rachel said simply. "Get to know her, James, be her friend. Right now, Lily thinks you're just infatuated with her. She doesn't believe you actually like her. She thinks you like the chase."

"Has she told you this?" James asked, his face so serious, Rachel wouldn't have dreamed it possible.

"Not aloud, no. But I understand Lily better than anyone, trust me on this," Rachel assured him. "Ease off and she'll let you in."

"Alright," James agreed much to Sirius' displeasure.

"Good," Rachel said as she tossed her napkin on top of the table. "I'm going upstairs. Wait a few minutes before you lot follow that way I can talk to Lily without you being there."

The boys, especially James, nodded obediently and Rachel walked away, swinging her curvy hips as she went. James pondered with Remus how to 'back off' but he couldn't seem to understand. Peter listened intently, watching James with a clear look of admiration as he spoke of his undying need for Lily Evans. But Sirius stared after Rachel Riatt, tuning out his friends' conversation completely. He watched her turn the corner towards the grand staircase, her long chestnut hair flowing behind her in silky waves, until she completely disappeared from sight.

But her lack of presence did not keep him from thinking of her. Sirius thought about the moment he saw her sitting with James on the train earlier that day. He had caught himself staring at her long copper legs in her tiny short and her slender arms, left bare in her strapless white top. He recalled her stunning smile, her white teeth shining behind her naturally pouty pink lips. When he sat down next to her on the train, it was as if her were reeled in by some sort of invisible line, slowly tugging him closer to her no matter how hard he struggled against it. Maybe it was the sweet scent of her fruity shampoo that was so intoxicating, or the adorable way her skin creased when she wrinkled her nose, or maybe it was the intensity that would burn in her beautiful, striking eyes as she glared at him.

What was he thinking? Sirius couldn't stand Rachel Riatt, or rather the blokes she hung around with. He had knocked her off his list a long time ago when she shot him down in their third year. He respected her back then, accepted the fact that she was too good for a womanizer like him. But then she turned right around and shagged every other guy who glanced at her twice. She was promiscuous and cocky, just like him, and he hated her for it. He loathed all the slimy prats that had their way with her, partially for using her, but mostly because he wasn't one of them.

"Lily," Rachel called into the deserted common room.

She found her redheaded friend sitting on the coffee table in front of the blazing fire. Lily wiped her cheeks feverishly once she heard Rachel's gentle voice and approaching footsteps. Rachel frowned to herself and sat down next to Lily and nudged her with her bony elbow.

"What's wrong, Lils?" Rachel asked quietly.

"I'm so sick of Black and Potter," Lily mumbled. "Black doesn't know when to shut up."

"Trust me, Lily, I know," Rachel rolled her eyes. "He's a prat, we all know that. It's no reason to cry."

"It's infuriating, Rachel," Lily whispered almost inaudibly. "I'm not a prude. The only reason I've never had a boyfriend is because of stupid Potter."

Rachel recalled the most recent incident. The last Hogsmeade trip of their fifth year was approaching and Rachel was supposed to go with Dean Ludwig, the most stunning seventeen year old Hogwarts had to offer. Rachel had been eyeing him all year long and, thankfully, a week before the Hogsmeade trip, Dean and his girlfriend broke up. He promptly asked Rachel to go on a date with him to the village and she had agreed without hesitation.

Lily, however, wasn't so lucky. She and Rachel had been walking to the common room after dinner a few nights before the trip when Christopher Samuels approached them. He pulled Lily a few feet away while Rachel waited and asked her to accompany him to the village. Thanks to Potter, the poor boy ended up in the hospital wing for two weeks, and Lily missed the last Hogsmeade trip of the year. Rachel, being the selfless friend that she is, begrudgingly called off her date with Dean and remained in the Gryffindor common room with Lily the entire day.

"I hate him, Rachel. I hate him so much," Lily cried.

"Hey, don't cry, Lily. It's alright," Rachel comforted her friend. "Want me to hex him for you?"

"No, you'll get detention," Lily sighed.

"Maybe he'll leave you alone from now on," Rachel suggested. "I think he really likes you, Lils. He just doesn't know how to show it without being over the top and dramatic."

"Not being an obsessive prat would be a start," Lily muttered.

"I thought so too," Rachel smiled.

The girls chatted a while longer before Lily excused herself to freshen up her makeup. Rachel didn't blame her for wanting to hide any trace of tears before the others came back from dinner. She tossed her heavy black robes over the back of the crimson couch and loosened her Gryffindor tie around her neck. She sat down on the sofa and stared at the flames as her housemates began filing in through the portrait hole. It didn't take long for a group of boys to flock to her, sitting down all around her, flashing her smiles as they asked how her holiday went.

Rachel did her best not to look as bored as she was with their exaggerated tales of their summer adventures. One boy, however, caught her attention. He had eyes as blue as the ocean and hair the color of its sandy shores. When he showed her his dazzling white teeth and adorable dimples in his tan cheeks, Rachel was captivated.

"Alex Park," he introduced, his smooth voiced seemed to command the attention of everyone around him. "Sixth year."

"You're new here," Rachel gathered.

"Yes, I transferred over from Durmstrang," he said as he shook her hand lightly.

"Ah I see," Rachel said with a light smile. "Rachel Riatt."

The other boys seemed to have taken the hint they could not compete with this Alex character, and began to disperse around the common room. Rachel was grateful for some privacy; it was tiring to keep up an image in front of such a large crowd. She ran her fingers through her long hair before braiding it neatly.

"You seem to have a generous following, Rachel," Alex noted, fully aware of the jealous eyes watching them.

"I wish they'd stop that," she said with a frustrated sigh.

"Not a fan of all the attention?" he presumed, leaning back against the couch as he watched her.

"Not at all," she replied. "I'd much rather be invisible."

"With looks like yours, I don't think that would ever be possible," Alex said with a flirty smile.

"Are you trying to charm me, Park?" Rachel teased as her cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"Is it working?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Perhaps," she smiled, raising one eyebrow on her forehead.

"I'll have to try harder then," he winked. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah, have a good night," she smiled.

"You too," Alex waved as he walked up the stairs to the boys' dorms.

"Well he was downright gorgeous," Lily said casually as she occupied the seat Alex had recently vacated.

"He was, wasn't he?" Rachel bit her bottom lip.

"He next on your list, Riatt?" Sirius' obnoxious voice rang in her ears and he hopped over the back of the couch, landing on the crimson cushion beside her.

"I don't have a list, Black," Rachel rolled her green eyes at him.

"I didn't think blondes were your type," he observed thoughtfully. "Then again, I guess slags don't really have types, do they? You just kind of lie down for anything with a-"

A deafening crack echoed throughout the common room, and the remaining Gryffindors fell silent. Rachel's hand stung as she shot to her feet in a flash and stormed up to the girls' dormitories. Lily followed close behind, only to have the bedroom door slammed in her face, followed by the click of the lock. With a sigh of defeat, Lily returned to the quiet common room.

Sirius remained in his seat, a lock of rage and shock etched upon his admittedly handsome face. James was trying, and ultimately failing, to stifle his laughter while Remus shook his head at the two of them. Lily sat down on the couch where she had been sitting and turned her head to glare at a furious Sirius Black.

"James, if you don't shut your mouth, I will hit you," Sirius growled through his teeth.

James rolled his eyes and chuckled as he plopped down in a nearby arm chair.

"That bloody hurt," Sirius grumbled as he pressed his fingers against his stinging cheek.

"Serves you right," Lily snapped. "You best learn to watch your mouth, especially when it comes to things you know nothing about."

"Padfoot's always had a smart mouth. Doesn't mean Rachel should just swing at him," James defended his friend.

"He had no right to call her a slag," Lily growled.

"I agree with that," Remus chimed in.

"Of course you do, Remus," Sirius said, his grey eyes flashing with anger.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Remus asked in defense, closing his book and holding it in his lap.

"You've got it bad for Riatt, Remus, we all know it," Sirius snapped, and Remus' cheeks burned.

"That's not true, Sirius," Remus argued meekly. "She's my friend."

"Keep telling yourself that, mate," Sirius mocked.

"She's just a friend, Sirius. Nothing more," Remus said firmly. "That being said, no, I don't appreciate her being called a slag."

"And I don't appreciate being slapped across the face," Sirius shouted.

"Stop being so stubborn, Padfoot," James pleaded.

"Maybe if you weren't so bitter and stubborn, Rachel wouldn't hate you so much," Lily stated with a raised auburn eyebrow.

"She hates me?" Sirius asked.

"Do you blame her?" Lily asked before stomping back up to the girls' dormitory.

_No, _Sirius thought.

"Rachel? Can you let me in, now please?" Lily's soft voice called from the opposite side of the bedroom door.

Rachel sighed and reluctantly pushed herself off of her bed to unlock the door. Without so much as a glance, she turned around and returned to her bed. She laid her head against the pillow and twisted her fingers together as she glared at nothing in particular. She felt the foot of her bed sink beneath Lily's weight and Rachel slowly lifted her gaze.

"Want to talk about it?" Lily asked carefully.

"And say what?" Rachel asked numbly.

Lily shrugged and crawled up the bed to lie beside Rachel, their heads sharing the small pillow. Lily remained quiet, allowing Rachel to be swallowed up by her thoughts until she was ready to speak. Rachel snorted at a thought that crossed her mind, and Lily glanced at her with her eyebrow cocked.

"What's so funny?" she asked curiously.

"According to Black, you're a prude and I'm a slag. Quite the pair, eh?" Rachel chuckled.

Lily giggled lightly, stopping once Rachel's expression grew grim and bleak again. She watched her beautiful friend tug at the silver chain around her neck. Rachel sighed loudly, dropping the pendant to her chest and running her fingers through her long hair.

"He doesn't know anything about my life. That's what infuriates me the most," Rachel began venting, as Lily had been waiting for her to do. "I'm the furthest thing from a slag, yet the entire school thinks me to be promiscuous. And it's all thanks to him. Bloody prat just couldn't handle rejection, so he had to ruin my reputation."

Rachel glared up at the canopy over her head. Her long fingers balled into fists on top of her swollen chest and she gritted her teeth together. She shook her head to herself, trying to calm down a bit.

"I don't understand why he has to be so mean," she said almost sadly. "It was years ago. Why can't he just let it go?"

"Maybe he truly fancies you," Lily suggested, earning a loud scoff from Rachel.

"Right. Sirius Black doesn't fancy anything but a shag," Rachel countered.

"Maybe it's different with you. Think about it," Lily said. "Black's never seemed to care if girls turn him down. But with you, he was bitter and spiteful. Maybe being rejected by you actually hurt his feelings."

"Lily, Sirius doesn't feel," Rachel said simply. "Besides, why would I be any different than the fifty other girls he chases after?"

"Because you matter to him?" Lily offered.

Rachel rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"For someone so bright, you can really be quite dim at times, Lils," Rachel joked.

"We'll see about that," Lily said before getting up and going to her own bed, leaving Rachel to her thoughts.

"You really shouldn't have hit him, Rachel," Remus whispered in her ear as they huddled over their caldron.

"He shouldn't have said what he did," Rachel stated stubbornly.

"No, he shouldn't have," Remus agreed. "I reckon he feels bad about it, actually."

"Right," Rachel scoffed.

She filled a vile with the pale lavender potion and brought it up to Professor Slughorn while Remus returned the unused ingredients and equipment to the closet in the back of the dungeon classroom. Rachel sat down in her seat and waited for Remus to join her, drumming her polished nails against the tabletop. Remus sat down beside her as they waited for their classmates to complete their potions, as well. He abruptly laid his fingers over hers, and Rachel blinked up at him in surprise.

"You're driving me mad," he said with a smile.

"Sorry," she whispered as he released his light grip on her hand.

Before long, Slughorn dismissed the class, and Rachel left the dungeons with Remus. Like the perfect gentleman he was, Remus escorted her to her next class before heading off to his own. Rachel sat down in the Charms classroom and placed her rucksack on the chair beside her. The class was split between Gryffindors and Slytherins and Rachel attempted to hide in the back of the room to avoid any confrontation. Beside her, she heard her bag hit the floor with a bang and she whipped her head around to see who so boldly took the seat next to her. She should have known her conflict wouldn't be with the Slytherins.

She parted her lips to argue with him as he sat beside her, but her words were lost. The left side of his handsome face housed an ugly purple splotch, stretching across his cheek just beneath his grey eye. He pushed his fingers through his shaggy black hair and stared towards the front of the room. Rachel's lip quivered as she watched him in shame while he refused to look at her, let alone speak to her. She dropped her gaze and bit her bottom lip remorsefully as the lesson began.

Unable to speak her apology for the sake of her pride, Rachel tore a piece of parchment, dipped her quill in her ink and wrote elegantly, 'I'm sorry.' She took a deep breath and slid the parchment towards the boy beside her, poking his balled up fist with the corner as she stared straight down into her lap. She peeked through her chestnut hair for his reaction, only to watch him point his wand at the square before it burst into flames. She fought the urge to jump in surprise. Making Sirius forgive her would be harder than she thought.


	3. Chapter 3

*****Thanks for reading! PLEASE REVIEW!*****

**Out of the Ashes**

**3**

Rachel combed her fingers through her hair as she sat at a table in the corner of the crimson common room. Lily nibbled on a sugar quill as her emerald eyes quickly skimmed the pages of her charms textbook. The prefect jotted down notes every now and then, scribbling across a neat roll of parchment. Rachel's olive eyes fell on him for the umpteenth time that evening, watching him stare glumly into the dancing flames ignoring his friends' lighthearted banter around him. His fingers grazed the purple mark on his cheek and he winced slightly, his skin burning at the touch. Rachel frowned to herself as she continued to watch him.

"If you're going to continue staring at him, why not just go apologize?" Lily asked from across the table.

Rachel jumped slightly before turning her eyes to look at her friend. Lily's green eyes were already trained on Rachel's face, a knowing smile painted on her pink lips. Lily twisted her sugar quill between her fingers as she waited for a response. Rachel sighed and shook her head slowly.

"I can't," Rachel mumbled. "I've never seen him this angry with anyone before. I doubt he'll even stay to listen to me."

"It's worth a shot isn't it? You're more likely to make progress going over there than sitting here gawking at him," Lily stated.

"Piss off, I'm not gawking," Rachel rolled her large eyes. "I don't want to do it in front of the others."

"I'll take care of that," Lily said without hesitation. "Oi, Potter!"

Rachel watched as the redhead sauntered over to the marauders, leaning down the whisper something to James. His eyes widened at her close proximity before he nodded vigorously. Lily stepped away and left through the portrait hole. James gripped the collar of Remus and Peter's robes and tugged them with him to follow Lily into the corridor. Rachel sighed heavily and willed herself to her feet. Before she even reached the couch, Sirius rose to stand and began walking away as though he could hear her approaching.

"Sirius, please," Rachel pleaded, reaching out and grasping his forearm gently. "Please just hear me out."

She felt his muscle tense beneath his warm skin, twitching under her fingers. He turned around slowly, his grey eyes narrowed at he stared down into her eyes. Rachel swallowed a massive lump in her throat and looked away from his face for a moment, staring around the empty common room. She dropped her fingers from his arm as though his skin had burned her and she shifted her weight from foot to foot. She sighed audibly and dared to look back up at him. He was no longer seething down at her, his eyes no longer burning with fury, but with curiosity.

"Look, I'm sorry I hit you," Rachel sputtered. "I shouldn't have, even if you deserved it."

He scoffed and looked away from her. Rachel glanced down at her fingers as they knotted themselves together nervously. This was not going as planned. Rachel Riatt was far too proud to give a proper apology without any tiny biting comments to prove she wasn't entirely wrong in her actions.

"I was really out line," she struggled to admit, and she looked up into his grey eyes again. "Is there any way I can make it up to you?"

His eyes lit up for a moment, a Rachel feared what that sparkle may mean for her. She watched him closely as he tried to come up with, what she assumed to be, the worst possible punishment he could give her to call things even between them. She grimaced as his lips slowly molded into a devious smirk.

"Go on a date with me," he stated simply, his voice a lough, rough growl.

"Keep dreaming, Black," Rachel glared and made to get move past him, muttering to herself about what a prat he was.

"One date, Riatt," his hoarse voice rumbled in his chest as his fingers locked around her forearm.

"Not a chance," she growled.

Her green eyes dragged up from his fingers wrapped gently around her arm, up his broad chest, over his full smooth lips, finally resting on his burning grey eyes. She had not realized how close they were until she could see the blue specks that dotted his eyes, contrasting the grey beautifully. She could almost count the thick black lashes lining his eyelids as he stared down at her, his eyes darting between her olive eyes and her plump, pouty lips.

"One date," he repeated in a low whisper. "To make it up to me."

He angled his face expertly, bringing his lips closer to hers while allowing the fire to cast a brilliant golden glow on the purple flaw on his handsome face. She winced as she looked at it before glaring up at him again.

"What about you? How will you make it up to me, saying what you did?" Rachel asked, an eyebrow shooting up her forehead.

Sirius smirked down at her and brought his lips close to her ear. He paused there a moment, breathing in her scent while she inhaled his. With a sigh, he parted his lips to speak.

"I'll show you the best night of your life," he whispered, and Rachel could hear the smirk in his voice.

In one smooth, slow motion, Sirius swept her long hair off her shoulder and stepped back from her slightly. He smirked down at her, knowing he had won, and slid his fingers down her forearm. He clasped her fingers in his and brought her hand to his lips, kissing her quivering knuckles lightly before releasing his hold.

"Friday night at nine," he said before strolling nonchalantly up the boys' staircase.

Rachel released a breath she hadn't realize she had been holding once he was out of view. She ran her fingers through her long waves and pressed her cool palm against her burning cheek. She walked slowly and carefully up the girls' stairs, her knees wobbling as she climbed the tower. Finally, she fell on her bed and stared up at the scarlet canopy. Not long after, Lily came bounding into the dormitory, questions plain on her beautiful face. When Rachel did not provide an answer, she furrowed her rusty brows in confusion, taking a seat at the foot of Rachel's bed.

"How'd it go?" Lily asked cautiously.

"I'm done for," Rachel confessed.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this, Rach?" Lily asked again. "This is blackmail, you know. I could give him a detention."

"I'll be alright," Rachel said, though her voice quaked with nerves.

Her fingers fumbled through her wardrobe as she searched for something to wear. She pushed past her fancy dresses and sexy skirts, focusing her attention on hip-hugging jeans instead. She tugged the dark denim over her legs, fastening the button and closing the zipper. She wiped her sweaty palms against the fabric before searching for an appropriate top.

"Where's he taking you, anyway?" Lily inquired as she watched Rachel dress.

"He didn't say. He just said to meet him down there at nine o'clock," Rachel said, tossing shirt after shirt to the floor in disapproval.

"If he plans on taking you somewhere just to shag, I'll kill him," Lily growled.

"You won't have to, because I will already have murdered him," Rachel said. "I won't be another one of his slags, Lily. I don't even want to go on this date."

"Then why are you getting so dressed up for it?" Lily asked carefully.

Rachel parted her lips to speak, but shut them promptly as she caught her reflection in the full length mirror. Her dark jeans hugged her hips perfectly. She had decided on a tight indigo shirt that dipped low, revealing a generous amount of cleavage. She had just poked sparkling sapphire earrings through her ear lobes, and she ruffled her bouncy chestnut curls nervously. Her green eyes glittered, contrasting with the dark black lines around them. She blinked at her reflection in the glass, her long, thick lashes fanning her pink cheeks. She stared in the glass at Lily who sat just behind her and sighed heavily.

"I don't know what to expect, so I'd rather look nice than look like a slob," Rachel tried to argue, but Lily smirked wisely.

"Just be careful, okay?" Lily requested.

Rachel nodded her head and stepped into sparkly black flats. She tucked her wand away and waved to her friend before strolling down to the common room. She was late, Rachel knew, by ten minutes or so, but she really didn't care to have kept him waiting. He leaned casually against the marble mantle, pushing his fingers through his shaggy black locks while he waited. Once she reached the bottom of the stairs, Sirius lifted his gaze to shamelessly survey her appearance. Judging by the lustful gleam in his eyes, Rachel assumed he deemed it worth the wait.

"It's about time, Riatt," he joked, holding his arm out for her.

"Beauty takes time, Black," Rachel smiled up at him as she snaked her arm around his.

He smirked at her and brought her through the portrait hole before leading her through the empty corridors. They walked silently, the sounds of their feet against the stone the only sound breaking the silence. Rachel wasn't sure where he was taking her, but she bit her tongue to refrain from asking. It was odd for her to blindly trust anyone, let alone Sirius Black, but Rachel did so without a second thought.

"This way," he whispered, pulling her behind a statue of a one-eyed witch.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked, unable to hold it in any longer.

"You'll see. Now, be quiet and get in there," he instructed.

Rachel glared at his assertiveness before doing as she was told. She ducked to step inside the statue. She refused to walk very far into the dark and laid her hand against the cold, rigid stone. She felt the heat from Sirius' body radiating onto hers, waiting for her to continue forward. When she didn't he laid his hand on the small of her back and slightly nudged her.

"It's dark," she stated obviously.

"Scared, are you, Riatt?" he teased.

"No…" she lied pathetically.

"The dark? You're honestly afraid of the dark?" Sirius barked a laugh. "Big bad Rachel Riatt is afraid of the dark?"

"It's not the dark I'm scared of, Black," she spat. "It's what could be lurking in the shadows."

"There's nothing in here," he assured her. "Trust me."

And she did. With his hand steady on her back, Rachel walked forward towards a destination she did not know. She stumbled through the blackness, and every time she did, Sirius would wrap his arm a little tighter around her waist. By the time they reached the end of the winding tunnel, Sirius was standing so close to her that Rachel could smell the mint on his breath mingling nicely with the exotic spice of his aftershave. He reached past her and opened an old wooden door with a loud creak, holding his arm out for her to go first.

Rachel's eyes wandered to dark cellar. There were countless boxes lining the stone walls, piled on top of each other nearly touching the ceiling. Sirius closed the door behind him and led her up a flight of squeaky stairs. He put his finger to her lips, urging her to move quietly as he lifted a trap door over their heads. He reached his hand down once he had climbed out and pulled her up with him. Rachel dusted her jeans and looked around the room.

Honeydukes sweetshop was extremely different, now, as she stood inside of it alone with Sirius. The lights were all off, and Rachel could hear loud snores coming from the flat upstairs where the shop owner slept. The usually busy shop was silent and almost eerily so. She turned her head to find Sirius filling a bag with all sorts of candies.

"That's stealing," she scolded, smacking his hand.

"It's only stealing if you get caught," Sirius countered, continuing to fill a deep bag with licorice wands.

"Sirius," Rachel warned quietly. "If we do get caught, we'll be in so much trouble."

"Come on, Riatt," Sirius pouted. "We're supposed to be having fun."

Rachel eyed the plastic tubs of Chocoballs and Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the bag Sirius was holding out to her. He grinned as he watched her fill her bags with countless bits of candies, glancing over her shoulder every few minutes to make sure the shop owner was still fast asleep upstairs.

"Hey, Riatt, look," Sirius whispered as he popped a Fizzing Whizbee in his mouth.

He grinned down at her as his feet left the wooden floor. He floated around her in a dizzying circle until Rachel grasped the front of his black sweater in her fist. He froze in the air staring down at her smiling face, a ghost of a smile present on his lips. She parted her lips, forming s small "O," and Sirius slipped one between them. Rachel floated with him, still clutching his shirt between her fingers as they drifted throughout the shop. They tried, and ultimately failed, to suppress their chuckles as they lightly banged into shelves and displays on their journey through the air.

Rachel smiled at him beneath the light of the moon, pushing her long hair away from her face. She giggled behind her free hand as the top of Sirius' head collided with a shelf of Chocolate Frogs. Sirius smiled back at her, committing the musical laughter leaving her lips to memory. Rachel floated closer to him as though she were stepping on clouds and gazed up into his grey eyes. He stared down at her, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly as he freed an escaped Chocolate Frog from her long curls.

Sirius locked his eyes with hers and left his fingers on her soft hair, twisting a curl between his calloused fingertips. Rachel watched him gaze down at her, contemplation and deliberation evident in his light eyes. She waited anxiously for him to make up his mind before taking it upon herself. Rachel swiftly pulled him to her, molding her lips with his. With one hand gripping tightly to his shirt, the other tugged at his black hair, softer than she would have ever imagined.

Sirius froze for a moment, taken aback by the passionate action, before the frenzy inside of him erupted. His lips moved skillfully with hers, sucking and nibbling at just the right moments, in precisely the right places. His ten fingers knotted in her hair, begging not to suddenly pull away. Rachel had no plan to end the kiss, and as Sirius bit down on her bottom lip, Rachel parted them slightly to allow a breathy moan to pass from her mouth into his. He growled lowly and moved a hand to her hip, pulling her body flush with his.

Not a second later, their bodies plummeted to the floor with a bang. Rachel squealed on the way down and groaned beneath Sirius' weight. He shifted to hold himself up on his strong forearms and stared down at her. They chuckled quietly on the floor together and as Sirius bowed his head down towards her lips again, a door opened.

"Hey! Who's down there?"

Rachel's eyes widened in fear while Sirius grinned wildly down at her. He pulled her to her feet and grabbed their several bags of sweets and dragged her back down the staircase to the cellar. Rachel trembled, her body wracking with waves of adrenaline as Sirius thrust her through the secret passageway. He laced their fingers together and he guided them in a jog through the black tunnel. Rachel stumbled around, but did not complain as she let Sirius lead them to safety. He easily moved the portion of the one-eyed witch and, thankfully, they were back in the deserted corridors of Hogwarts.

"That was absolutely mental," she breathed, her fingers still shaking.

"Wicked," he agreed. "Let's go back to the tower."

Rachel walked beside him in silence all the way to the Gryffindor tower. He spoke the password to the Fat Lady, ignoring her glaring and muttering at being woken up in the middle of the night. They walked together to the staircase and Sirius handed Rachel her bags. She smiled in thanks and glanced around uncertainly.

"I had a good time, Black," she confessed begrudgingly.

"I knew you would," he grinned back.

"Yes, it was fun for one night," she said with a light smile. "I'm going to go up to bed. See you tomorrow."

"See you," he replied after she had gone.

Sirius sat down on the red sofa and leaned his elbows against his knees. He pressed his palms into his eyes and rubbed them in circles. How could he have been so bloody stupid? Stupid enough to think that Rachel Riatt would fall for him? Never in a million years. She'd said so herself, 'it was fun for _one_ night.' Was he truly foolish enough to think there'd be a second? A third?

But surely he hadn't imagined that kiss. The kiss that _she_ initiated. The kiss that damn near sent him over the edge. Merlin, he could have shagged her right then and there in the middle of Honeydukes. He'd imagined it leading there, had the shop owner not woken up. He had imagined hearing her moan again, maybe breathing his name this time. He pictured undressing her, pressing his lips to every bare inch of her creamy flesh. He'd imagined what it would feel like to have her soft, trembling hands running over his skin, her hot lips against his body. He could only dream of the glorious sensation he would have felt to be inside...

He had to stop. His wandering mind would be the death of him. Sirius rose to his feet and walked, a little uncomfortably, towards the enormous window of the common room. He pushed the pane of glass open and let the cold breeze cool the sweat off his forehead. His imagination was just that: a far off, unattainable fantasy. He only had one night to be with Rachel Riatt, and it was over. He'd missed his one and only opportunity.

Rachel slid down the cool tiles of the shower wall to catch her breath. Her body trembled in the wake of her climax and the hot water sprayed down over her. How could she have let that happen? How could she have let her guard down long enough for that snake to slither inside? How could she have been stupid enough to make the first move? She practically invited him to have his way with her. And how she wished he would have…

No! Rachel buried her damp face against her silky smooth knees. She refused to be another notch on Sirius Black's bedpost. She was a strong, independent woman. She had far too much pride and self-esteem to fall victim to his womanizing ways. But hadn't she already?

Hadn't _she _been the one to kiss_ him_? How could she have been so foolish? She knew Sirius. She was no stranger to his careless, selfish games. She had been the shoulder to cry on for countless broken-hearted girls, scorned by Sirius Black. Rachel had seen this play out a million times before. But what if she was different?

Rachel nearly laughed at herself. Isn't that what every girl always thinks when it comes to him? Every poor bird thinks that they could be the one to tame the infamous Sirius Black: Hogwarts Heartbreaker. Surely Rachel wasn't dense enough to believe that of herself, as well. However, unlike the other girls Sirius toyed with, Rachel had been his friend. She had also been the only female to ever turn Sirius away. Yet he still chased after her. That had to mean something, didn't it?

Rachel wrapped a towel around herself and stepped out of the stall. She dried the water droplets off of her milky skin and got dressed in a beautiful crimson nighty. After long moments of torturous deliberation, Rachel decided that, should the opportunity present itself, she would take a chance on Sirius Black. She only hoped it wouldn't hurt too badly when he let her down.


	4. Chapter 4

*****Thanks for reading! So I have more views on this story than I ever would have imagined, which I really appreciate! If only all the viewers would review... I would LOVE to hear what you all think. So pleaseee REVIEW!*****

**Out of the Ashes**

**4**

Rachel awoke much later than her roommates the morning following her endeavor with Sirius. By the time she had showered and gotten herself dressed in plain blue jeans and a black t-shirt, the other sixth year girls had already vacated the dormitory; all but Lily Evans. Rachel's redheaded best friend twisted her long hair around her finger while she sat waiting on the edge of her neatly made bed.

"What?" Rachel asked bashfully as she ran her fingers through her curly hair.

"How was it?" Lily asked plainly.

"It was fun," Rachel smiled.

"Fun? That's all I get?" Lily asked, her green eyes wide. "Come on, Rach, give me details! What did you two do?"

"I don't think you would particularly approve of what we did," Rachel smirked slyly, watching Lily's cheeks flush.

"Oh, Rachel, you didn't! Please tell me you didn't let him have his way with you," Lily begged, desperately clasping Rachel's hand between her palms.

"Not exactly," Rachel chuckled. "We went on an adventure I highly doubt you'd approve of, snogged a bit, and then he brought me back here. It was a fine evening."

"Snogged a bit?!" Lily shrieked.

"It was just a kiss," Rachel lied, distinctly recalling their roaming hands and feverish lips.

"Just a kiss?" Lily repeated incredulously. "Sirius Black doesn't 'just kiss,' Rachel."

"Relax, Lily, it wasn't a big deal," Rachel shrugged, leaving the dormitory.

"Well, what does this mean?" Lily cried, falling in step with the beautiful brunette. "Are you two exclusive, then?"

"We didn't really talk about it," Rachel replied simply.

"What do you want?" Lily asked, her green eyes watching Rachel's face intently.

"I don't know what I want, Lils," Rachel admitted. "I thought I'd see how he acts today, and go from there."

"You mean, see if he stops his usual flirting and bedding?" Lily asked slowly.

"Basically," Rachel replied.

"It's not looking too good then, is it?" Lily asked.

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows, glancing down at her friend as they stood in the open doorway of the Great Hall. She followed Lily's harsh stare towards the Gryffindor table and frowned for the briefest of moments. She tried to convince herself that his strong arm was not draped around the narrow shoulders of some blonde bird, and that she had not seen him wink one of his grey eyes down at her. Rachel tried not to notice the blush on the blonde's cheeks or the way she bit her lip and batted her eyelashes up at him. Rachel tried to ignore the heavy rock weighing down her chest and the suffocating lump in her throat.

"Now what?" Lily asked gently.

"Nothing," Rachel replied. "We carry on as normal. That's what he's doing, isn't it?"

Lily watched her for a moment before nodding slowly. Rachel took a breath before leading them towards their normal seats beneath the Gryffindor banner. With Lily across from her and the marauders to her right, Rachel filled her plate in silence. She felt Remus' eyes flickering between her and Lily, but chose to ignore it, biting into a buttered roll. Rachel could ignore Remus all morning, and she could easily forget Peter's presence. She could even tune out James' immature jokes. But she could not, no matter how terribly she tried, ignore Sirius' low growling voice or the blonde's high pitched giggles.

"Feeling okay, Rachel?" Remus asked quietly.

"Perfect," she tried to sound casual.

"You look a bit off," he noted.

"I'm fine, Remus," she insisted, but even she could hear the strain in her own voice. "Really."

"Riatt," his voice called almost in surprise. "When'd you get here?"

Rachel lifted her gaze to meet his. His grey eyes watched her as she spun a small silver spoon around her porcelain teacup. Rachel brushed her silky hair away from her eyes and rested her chin against her free palm. She struggled to resist the urge to glare at him, as he had not removed his arm from the blonde's shoulder, but was tenderly stroking her bicep with his thumb.

"I've been here all along, Black," Rachel smiled as dazzlingly as she could manage.

"You slept in awfully late," he commented. "Long night?"

From the corner of her eye, Rachel saw Lily's eyes widen slightly. It took every bit of restraint she had inside of her not to reach across the table and slap that stupid smirk off his face. How dare he bring up last night while he had that _cow_ beneath his arm? She wanted nothing more than to dump her scalding tea over his soft black hair, but she only smiled at him.

"Not one worth remembering," she smirked, watching his arrogant smile droop on his lips.

His eyes fell to the table for a moment before he turned his attention back to the girl beside him. Rachel hadn't meant it, of course. All she had been doing for the past few hours was remembering every detail from the night they had shared. She turned her pale green eyes away from him, disgusted as he lowered his lips to nibble on the blondes' long neck. Rachel met Lily's thoughtful gaze and merely blinked at her a few times before glancing down at her plate of food suddenly not feeling very hungry.

"Good morning, Rachel."

She turned her head quickly as someone sat down on her left. Alex swung his long legs over the bench and shook his blonde hair out of his eyes. He smiled down at her, showing off his white teeth and adorable dimples, and began spooning some fruit into a bowl.

"Morning," she replied sweetly. "You just waking up?"

"No, I've been awake for ages," he replied. "I went for a run down by the lake early this morning. I thought I'd shower before coming down to eat."

"So that's how you're so in shape," Rachel commented accidently, a faint blush flooding her cheeks. "I mean…"

"I like to be active, yes," he laughed softly. "Running helps me clear my head."

Rachel elected to nod this time, rather than say something even more embarrassing. She watched him eat his breakfast as she pealed her ripe yellow banana, biting off the tip with her lips. They ate quietly for a while, and Rachel forced herself not to stare at the blonde beside her or the raven-haired bastard down the table. She heard the blonde bimbo calling his name several times, and she couldn't resist the urge to glance up at him. She found his grey eyes locked so intensely on her that he was completely oblivious to the girl calling his name and tugging on his arm for attention. She could've sworn she saw a bit of pain in his stormy eyes, but it quickly became a furious glare before he turned back to the girl on his arm. Rachel rolled her eyes to herself and sipped her tea.

"It looks beautiful outside," Lily commented to no one in particular.

"It is. I reckon it's going to be rather hot later on, as well," Alex replied kindly.

"We should take the day to tan, Lils," Rachel suggested.

"We have homework to do," she declined.

"It's Saturday," Rachel argued with a pout.

"I was planning on spending the day outside by the lake, if you'd like to join me," Alex offered, staring down at Rachel.

"I would love that," she agreed immediately.

"We would, too," Sirius added obnoxiously. "I think we could all use a break from school, right boys?"

"We've only been back a week," Lily rolled her eyes.

"It's been an exhausting week," James countered, and Rachel realized she hadn't heard him speak to Lily all morning.

"I don't know… We have that dreadful History of Magic report due next week," Lily bit her lip.

"Take a day off, Lily, you work too hard," James smiled down at her.

Rachel was almost certain she saw a red blush creeping up Lily's neck as she sighed loudly. She nodded her head and was met with cheers from Rachel and James. Rachel rose to her feet and swung her long hair over her shoulders.

"I'm going to get my bathing suit on," she announced, sending a flirty smile towards Alex who smiled back slyly.

"I'll join you," he volunteered.

"Me too," Sirius stood quickly, shoving the small blonde girl off his bicep as he did so.

Rachel glared at him and left the hall with Alex by her side and Sirius trailing behind. They walked up the countless staircases and Rachel noticed Alex glancing awkwardly over his shoulder at the brooding boy behind them. Rachel rolled her eyes, feeling very similar to a child with her father chaperoning a silly date.

"Your friend doesn't seem to like me very much," Alex whispered in her ear.

"He's jealous of you," she replied with a shrug.

"Of me? Why's that?" Alex asked quietly.

"You're very intimidating to other guys, I suppose," she guessed.

"How so?" he laughed, and Rachel smile shyly.

"You know, you're good looking and funny, you've got a body to die for. You could easily have any girl in this entire school," Rachel stopped herself as Alex grinned down at her.

"Any girl?" he asked smugly.

"Probably," she swallowed as they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Even you?" he whispered, his lips brushing her earlobe.

Rachel expected to feel a jolt crash through her body, electricity shoot through her veins at his touch. She thought she'd feel the overpowering desire to turn her head and connect their lips. But she felt nothing. Not a single thing, but the urge to glance nervously at Sirius standing behind them. His grey eyes were alight with rage, and Rachel could see him opening and closing his fists rapidly. For a moment, she felt as if she had done something incredibly wrong, as if she had betrayed Sirius in some way. But hadn't he just been wrapped around another girl? Wasn't he doing the same thing, if not more?

Rachel shifted her gaze back to Alex and smiled seductively. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and draped one slender arm around his neck, twisting strands of his sandy hair between her fingertips. She pulled him closer to her and pressed her lips to the side of his neck. When she pulled away, she let her lips linger next to his ear, her warm breath causing goose-bumps to prick up all over his skin.

"Even me," she whispered sensually.

After a long stare, Rachel unwound her arm from his neck and danced through the portrait hole, leaving behind two victims of what she could do. She was joined by Lily a few moments later while she was struggling to lace the thin strings of her top behind her back. She beckoned Lily towards her, silently asking her to fasten the strings together in a tight knot. Once she was finished, Rachel tied her long brown hair into a ponytail of loose waves. She shimmied into tight denim shorts before slipping her feet into small white flip-flops. After casting a water-proof spell at her face of makeup, Rachel pushed a black pair of oversized sunglasses up her small nose. She waited for Lily to dress, watching her slip a white sundress over her bikini. The redhead began shoving towels and sunscreen into a small rucksack.

Tucking her long hair behind her ears, she asked, "Ready?"

Rachel nodded and jogged down the stairs to the common room with Lily right beside her. She had taken the backpack from Lily's hand and swung it over her shoulders. It bounced against her back as she skipped the last few steps and landed on the common room floor.

"You're not going to put a shirt on?" Lily asked. "We are going to be walking through the castle to get to the lake, you know?"

"It'll take five minutes, what's the worst that could happen?" Rachel asked with a nonchalant shrug.

As they walked through the bustling corridors, Lily bowed her head, hiding her pink cheeks behind a thick veil of red hair. Every eye watched as she and Rachel strolled through the hallways, staring at her barely-dressed best friend. Boys wolf-whistled as Rachel passed them, and Lily glared at them for their crude behavior, but rolled her eyes at Rachel once she realized she loved the attention.

"You know, this is why Sirius thinks so lowly of you," Lily said with a smirk once they made it outside and were approaching the sandy shores.

"Sirius thinks lowly of me because he can't have me," Rachel countered plainly.

"Didn't you say he nearly had you last night?" Lily smirked again.

"Nearly. But he obviously wanted more," Rachel smirked back.

"Clearly," Lily said as she jerked her head towards the marauders.

The four boys were sitting in a cluster on a huge blanket laid out across the sand. James was talking adamantly about something that Peter seemed to find extremely interesting, or perhaps it was just the fact that James was talking to him at all. Remus glanced towards Rachel and Lily and quickly looked away, a soft pink tinting his cheeks. But it was Sirius who captured Rachel's attention. His grey eyes burned with desire as he watched her saunter nearer. His eyes shamelessly surveyed her marvelous body several times before settling on her beautiful face. In that moment, Rachel was thankful for the black glasses shielding her light eyes as she stared back at him with equal hunger.

"You look good enough to eat," Alex's deep voice filled Rachel's ears as the weight of his arm fell over her bare shoulders.

His murmur was, evidently, loud enough for Lily to hear seeing as she sped up her pace to put some distance between herself and the picture-perfect couple. Rachel turned her head slightly to smile up at Alex before glancing back at the marauders. Sirius seemed to be glaring at a particularly offensive patch of golden sand while the others carried on with whatever they had been doing. Lily reached the blanket a moment before Rachel and Alex and had sat down beside Remus. Lily smiled in greeting to all of them, pleasing James immensely, and combed her fingers through her straight hair.

Rachel managed to unwind herself from Alex's arm just long enough to drop the rucksack with a thump. Lily rummaged through it before tugging out a book and lying on her back to read it. Alex sat down heavily and began digging his toes into the hot sand, squinting up at Rachel. She stepped out of her sandals, kicking them to the side before tugging her tight shorts down her hips. She stood tall, craning her neck towards the bright sunlight, basking in its warmth for a moment.

She was, somehow, oblivious to the five sets of eyes watching her closely as she stretched her long arms towards the sky. Her long legs went on for miles before rounding out at her curvy hips. Her tiny waist and flat abdomen gave way to her full breasts, covered by pale green fabric that hugged her smooth skin tightly. Her long hair, tied back, blew behind her with the soft breeze. When she finally sat down beside Alex, she reclined to her back, closed her eyes and removed her shades. She did not feel the unwavering lustful eyes watching her as she allowed the sun to slowly toast her skin.

"Don't you think you're a little overdressed for tanning, Lils?" James asked, followed by a loud 'Ow!'

Rachel chuckled to herself, assuming Lily had hit him with her thick book. But as she felt soft fabric lightly brush her arm, she opened one eye just a crack. She peered up at Lily, who had discarded her white dress to the sand. She twisted her long hair into a knot at the back of her head before lying down beside Rachel, closing her emerald eyes to the sunlight. Rachel shut her eyes again with a smile, knowing that James would not be able to remove the image of Lily Evans standing before him in a formfitting aqua bikini anytime soon.

Rachel wasn't sure how long they had stayed like that, but after a while she heard a few of the boys splashing their way through the water, laughing loudly as they went. Curious, Rachel propped herself up on her forearms and gazed out at the guys jumping around in the lake. She smiled, glad that the marauders were getting along with Alex. Well, at least James, Peter and Remus were. Rachel furrowed her brow, realizing one of the marauders was missing from their silly games. She found Sirius standing alone on the wooden dock, looking out over the endless dark waters.

"You should go to him," Lily's soft voice said, following her friend's gaze.

"And you should put on some sun-block," Rachel smirked.

She pushed herself to her feet, dusting the white sand from her back and bottom. She untied her hair, letting the long dark waves flow to the middle of her back. With a deep breath, she began walking slowly towards the dock. The wood creaked beneath her bare feet, and Rachel wasn't surprised when he lifted his head having heard her approaching. His face remained blank, not a smile or even a scowl. Rachel's eyes surveyed his body, dancing greedily over his toned abdomen and strong biceps. His black swim-trunks hung low on his hips, revealing the wonderful definition towards his pelvis. She licked her lips and regained her composure, mustering a soft smile once she reached him.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Why aren't you with your boyfriend?" he asked bitterly, turning his gaze towards the water again.

"I was about to ask you the same question," she joked, smiling brighter when he smirked slightly.

They stood side by side in silence, the minutes ticking by wordlessly. Neither of the courageous Gryffindors seemed able to muster the nerve to voice their thoughts. Rachel gazed down into the water just below the dock, watching small fish pop to the surface blowing tiny bubbles. She peeked over at Sirius, his grey eyes narrowed slightly as he stared across the lake pensively.

"A Sickle for your thoughts?" Rachel asked quietly.

Sirius, broken from his trance, turned to look down at her. His grey eyes danced across her expectant face before settling on her pale green eyes, complimented nicely by her green bikini. The sunshine brought out the specks of gold scattered sporadically in the light green pools. The golden sunlight kissed her bronzing skin, leaving it glowing brightly. The warm beams brightened up her dark hair, emphasizing the golden streaks throughout the waves. She smiled up at him, waiting for him to speak. He gazed into her eyes a moment longer, his full lips parting slowly. And when he finally spoke, it was not at all what she had expected to hear.

"You're so beautiful, Ray," he breathed, still gazing down at her.

She felt blood flooding her cheeks with heat as she stared up at him from beneath her thick lashes. Her breath staggered, catching in her throat as her eyes surveyed his handsome face. She felt the positive pole of a magnet, and he was the negative. He was pulling her into him without laying a finger on her. And Rachel couldn't have fought the attraction if she had wanted to, but she didn't anyway. Before she could do what they both wished her to, she was lifted off her feet, a loud squeal erupting from her throat.

She stared up in shock at the strong man carrying her, bouncing her body in his arms as he ran down the dock. His feet slapped heavily against the wood, and Rachel clung to Alex's neck. He stopped at the edge and adjusted her in his arms.

"No, Alex, wait! I can't…"

But he had already tossed her high into the air. Rachel screamed loudly, covering her face with her hands. There was no glee in her scream, no joy in her eyes, only terror.

"She can't swim, you bloody idiot!" she heard James shout, followed by a loud splash, before she hit the water's surface with a painful sting.

Her body sunk beneath the cold water, and her limbs flailed frantically on their own accord. The saltwater stung her eyes as she blinked rapidly, her fingers desperately clawing at the water. Her legs swung spastically, but the more she struggled the further she drifted from the surface. Her lungs constricted, and Rachel knew she was out of oxygen. Her brain continuously urged her to breathe, so she opened her mouth, inhaling a huge gulp of water directly into her lungs. She felt her organs floating painfully in her chest before her body stilled and everything went black.

She was dead. Rachel knew there was no way in Hell she had survived. She felt weightless, as if she were floating before heat engulfed her completely. It was not an uncomfortable heat, but soothing. The kind of warmth that could lull you to sleep. She felt it against her back and all over her front, wrapping her in an envelope of warmness. Through her eyelids, she could see the source of the warmth: a blinding light burning pink through her flesh. She attempted to open her eyes, but found that she could not. She did not mind the silence or the warmth or even the fact the she was blind in death. She was glad that she could no longer feel the cold water around her, or the heavy weight of the fluid in her chest.

Until she felt heavy weight pumping against her sternum over and over again. The pain rocked her body and she could almost hear waves of water crashing against her ribcage. Her lungs felt like measly inflatable rafts out at sea during a terrible hurricane. They bounced over the waves, flipping over and banging into her bones, threatening the pop completely. The pounding suddenly stopped. That was when Rachel felt the most amazing thing. Something warm and silky smooth pressed against her lips, light as feathers. A gust of wind occupied her body, her chest filled with more than just air. She felt a shock of electricity sear from her face through her chest, warming her insides back to life. The unknown silky object moved away for a second, and before Rachel could even beg for its return, it had already come back, this time with a moist glaze. It breathed life into her again and, this time, Rachel felt the water in her lungs being forced out.

Without warning, Rachel coughed loudly, water dribbling down her chin and onto her heaving breasts. With several heavy breaths, Rachel was finally able to open her heavy eyes. She almost swore she was dead. She had to be in heaven to have such a beautiful angel staring down at her, a golden halo illuminated around his head. But she came to her senses as she gazed into Sirius' grey eyes. His shaggy black hair dripped tiny drops of water into her face as he leaned inches away from her lips. With pruned fingers, he brushed a long strand of wet hair off of her face, resting his hand on her cheek.

"Merlin, I thought you were dead," he breathed a sigh of relief.

"For a moment, so did I," she replied dreamily. "You…You saved me?"

"You sound surprised, Ray," he barked quietly, and she croaked a laugh.

Around her, she heard several relieved breaths and a chuckle or two. She did not care to look at who else was standing around her. She did not care that she had mounds of sand stuck to her skin and tangled in her hair. She did not care that there were tears drying against her cheeks. She only cared that Sirius was beside her, and that he had pulled her from the water and breathed life back into her.

"Oh, Rachel!" she heard.

To her left, Alex dropped heavily to his knees in the warm sand. He stared down at her, horror and guilt swimming in his blue eyes. She could see his hands shaking nervously as he pushed his sandy hair off of his frantic face.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel! I had no idea you couldn't swim," he rushed. "How can I ever make this up to you?"

"I don't think you can make up nearly killing someone, Park," Sirius spat with a glare.

"Please, Rachel. You must know I never meant any harm," he pleaded. "It was all in good fun."

"I nearly died, Alex," she croaked, her voice hoarse from the saltwater she had swallowed. "That wasn't exactly fun."

"I didn't intend for that to happen," he countered. "Please, forgive me. It was an accident."

"You didn't accidently throw her in the lake, Park," James defended, and Rachel noticed he had Lily wrapped under his wing.

"I wouldn't have if I had known," Alex argued. "Rachel, I'm sorry."

He reached for her hand and, before she realized what she was doing, Rachel flinched away turning her weak body towards Sirius. The raven-haired boy clutched Alex's wrist, stopping him from touching Rachel and shoved him away.

"How dare you try to touch her after the shit you just pulled," Sirius growled as he cradled Rachel against his hard chest.

"I think it best if you go back to the castle, Park. Give all of us a bit of time," Remus' calm voice suggested firmly.

The blonde glared at Sirius over Rachel's trembling body before glancing down at her sadly. She heard him murmur another apology before trudging back towards the castle doors. Rachel breathed unevenly and allowed Sirius, with the help of Remus, to ease her into a seated position. She sat for a moment to collect herself, her eyes scanning the group around her. Peter watched her with fear evident in his dark eyes. Remus doted over her, fussing to make sure she didn't fall over at any moment. James stood nearby, his arm draped around a sniffling and terrified Lily who leaned her head on his broad shoulder. Sirius was kneeling beside her, one arm snaked around her waist to support her as she sat. Much like Remus, Sirius fussed over her and began brushing the sand from her back, sending trails of goose-bumps in the wake of his touch.

"I think I've had enough of the great outdoors for a while," she joked.

"Cheers," James laughed, and the other chuckled in agreement.

"Let's get you back to the common room," Sirius suggested.

"Don't you think she should go to the hospital wing?" Lily asked nervously.

"Nah. Padfoot played doctor, and I'm sure he'd love to do it again," James smirked and sent a wink down at the redhead beneath his arm.

Rachel heard a growl rumble in Sirius' chest as he threw a glare at his best mate. She thought she saw a flash of red coloring his cheeks, but when she looked at him again, it was gone. She thought about James' words and couldn't deny that she, too, would love to do it again.

"Come on, Rachel, let's get you back to the tower," Remus said, stretching out his hand for her, and Sirius did the same.

Both boys tugged her slowly to her feet and helped her gain her balance. In response to a cold stare from Sirius, Remus dropped her hand and walked beside James and Lily towards the castle, Peter jogging to catch up. As Rachel attempted to step forward, her knees buckled beneath her weight, and she toppled into Sirius' open arms. He held her to his chest as she regained her footing and he draped one of her arms around his neck. His right hand grasped her waist while the other held her free hand, allowing her to use it to brace her weight. They crept slowly towards the castle, Rachel continuously stumbling, and Sirius never failing to catch her in his arms.

It didn't take long for Sirius to pity her and swing her entire body into his arms. He carried her bridal-style, despite her constant protests, as if she were light as a feather. They had arrived in the common room much later than their friends who had already showered and changed into casual clothing. Lily eyed the pair, sending a knowing smile towards Rachel who fought the urge to blush like a maniac in Sirius' arms. James smirked at his friend before turning back to his game of wizard's chest he was destroying Peter in. Remus sat beside Lily on the couch and glanced up from his essay to offer a strained smile before returning to his work.

"Think you're up for a bath?" Sirius asked Rachel quietly.

"What?" she asked, her eyes wide as saucers.

"With Evans' help," he added with a devilish grin.

"Oh, right," Rachel stammered. "Sure. If it's not too much trouble."

"None at all," Lily said, laying her quill down on the table.

Sirius placed Rachel carefully on her feet and supported most of her weight until the three of them reached the girls' stairs. He reluctantly released his hold on Rachel's waist and watched Lily struggle to ease her up the stairs for a bath. He stared after them long after their bedroom door had shut.

"You'd better be gawking at your own girl and not mine, Padfoot," he heard James call from behind him.

_My own girl,_ Sirius thought. _If only._


	5. Chapter 5

*****Review!*****

**Out of the Ashes**

**5**

"He really said that?" Lily asked as she leaned against the porcelain side of the large tub.

"Yeah, it was really unexpected," Rachel nodded.

She sunk her quaking body into the tub and allowed the hot water to smother her, washing away the sand and salt from the lake. She dipped her head back, soaking her dark hair with clean water. With her pruned fingers, she scooped up a handful of lavender bubbles from the water's surface and blew them into a flurry, smiling as they floated back into the tub.

"I had wondered what you two were talking about," Lily said thoughtfully. "Do you think this means something?"

"I don't know," Rachel admitted. "I want it to, but this is Sirius we're talking about."

"You could be different," Lily reminded her. "He dove in right after you, you know?"

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Sirius…as soon as Alex threw you, he dove off the dock. I reckon he hit the water before you did," Lily smiled as she tucked her red hair behind her ear.

"That's doesn't necessarily mean I'm different to him, Lils," Rachel rolled her eyes.

"He also called you beautiful, which I've never heard him refer to any of his slags as such before. He also gave you a nickname that nobody else has ever used for you," Lily listed, counting off on her long fingers.

"Okay, okay I get it," Rachel chuckled. "Still, I just don't want to hope for something that's so extremely improbable."

"I think that's pretty fair," Lily said as she held out a fluffy white towel. "Here, dry off and we'll go get dinner."

Rachel obliged and got herself dressed in tight black yoga pants and a neon green t-shirt. She shoved her feet into black sneakers and followed Lily downstairs. Her long waves, still damp from her bath, dripped water down her back and formed a small pool of liquid on the wooden bench she sat down on.

"You know you're a witch right?" James teased before taking a bite of his potato. "You could dry your hair with your wand."

Lily grimaced beside him as he spoke with his mouth full. Rachel expected her to scold him, but before she could, James politely excused himself and took a sip of his pumpkin juice. Lily's eyes widened a bit before she rolled them and filled her own plate with food. Rachel smirked to herself and subtly winked at James who smiled hopefully back at her. On her right, Sirius rolled his grey eyes and shook his head seemingly still doubting Rachel's advice.

"How are you feeling, Rach?" Remus asked from across the table.

"A bit weak still, but I'm fine," she shrugged. "You can stop glaring at him, Sirius. He didn't know."

"He shouldn't have done it at all, stupid git," Sirius mutter, taking an angry bite out of a chicken leg.

"He was trying to be funny," Rachel defended weakly.

"And flirty," Lily added.

"Exactly! Who does he think he is?" Sirius growled.

"A handsome bloke who is putting the moves on a beautiful girl?" Lily suggested, earning a violent glare from Sirius.

"He doesn't even know you," he grumbled.

"Why does it matter to you, Black?" Rachel teased.

He stared at her for a long time without uttering a word. He silently laid down his silverware and pushed his glass platter away from where he sat. He removed the cloth napkin from his lap, laying it in a wrinkled heap of crimson fabric beside the half-finished meal.

"It doesn't," he said finally, and he pushed himself to his feet and left the Great Hall without so much as a glance back.

The group sat in an uncomfortable silence after Sirius' departure. Rachel stared down at her plate not feeling very hungry anymore. She recalled the intense look in his grey eyes as he stared down at her. She thought about the strain in his voice as he spoke those final two words. She distinctly saw the hunch in his broad, normally proud, shoulders as he trudged rather than sauntered from the dining hall. She shook her head and glanced around at the three remaining marauders and Lily, wondering what she could say to diffuse the tension.

"The treacle tart is a bit…well…tart," Peter stated awkwardly.

They each exchanged a glance before bursting out laughing.

* * *

By the time she and Lily decided to head back to the Gryffindor Tower, Rachel had come to the conclusion that Sirius did, in fact, care about her. She was certain his words and his actions and odd behavior proved evidence as such. Surely he didn't call every bird he wished to shag beautiful, or give them a nickname, or save their lives. Yet he had done all of those things for her. It had to mean something. Rachel strolled towards the portrait hole feeling confident in the fact that Sirius Black had feelings for her. Deep feelings he hadn't felt for anybody else. Feelings she was eager to share with him.

"Kiss me."

First, Rachel winced at the familiar voice causing a shiver to run up her spine. Then, she grimaced. Her eyes fell on the pair snogging so furiously, Rachel was certain one of them would be injured. Then, she glared. She wished her eyes could pierce his skin as Marlene McKinnon ran her fingers all over it greedily.

"Oi, Padfoot! Get a room, mate," James called, and Rachel stomped up the girls' stairs.

Finally, she cried. She wasn't quite certain if they were angry tears or sad tears. He had fooled her, just as he had fooled countless other girls into believing they were the one for him. She felt so stupid having convinced herself that she meant anything to him. She scoffed at herself through her tears. She had somehow convinced herself that Sirius had feelings for her. She scoffed again. Sirius Black knew no _feelings,_ nor did he have any regard for anyone else's. Rachel was confident, now, that angry tears were pouring from her green eyes.

"Rach," Lily sighed, closing the door quietly.

"Merlin, Lily I'm one of them," Rachel coughed a laugh through her tears. "I'm just another girl who was dim enough to think…"

As soon as Lily sat beside her and pulled Rachel's head to her shoulder, she knew they were tears of sadness leaking from her green eyes. She admitted only to herself that she was wholeheartedly upset. She felt completely betrayed. Every time Rachel considered giving him a chance, Sirius threw it right down the toilet, and flushed for good measure. She sniffled loudly and watched her tears form a dark spot on Lily's pink shirt. This was the final straw. She would not dare to contemplate him again. She refused to allow herself to even entertain the idea of Sirius Black ever again, as long as she lived.

So when Alex Park sought her out the following evening, Rachel eagerly agreed to meet him in the library after dinner. She scarfed down her meal and left her friends without an explanation; Lily already knew where she was headed and flashed her an encouraging smile. Rachel ruffled up her luxurious locks and entered the library. It didn't take long for her to find Alex; he had nearly shouted her name across the silent library. She smiled and blushed as the librarian shushed them harshly. Rachel sat down beside Alex and turned to face him slowly.

"I'm really glad you agreed to see me, Rachel," he confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what happened."

"It's alright, Alex," she smiled brightly.

"It's not, I shouldn't have done that to you," he insisted. "If I had only known that about you, I'd never have dreamt of it."

"I know you wouldn't," she laid her fingers over his forearm. "You just don't know everything about me, that's all."

"Exactly," he smiled, wrapping his fingers around hers. "I want to know everything there is to know about you, Rachel. I want to know what you're most afraid of; what you dream about; what you hate more than anything; what you long for. I want to know it all."

Rachel cringed as she realized the answer the each question held the same answer. She shook her head, ridding her mind of thoughts of him and focused back on Alex's sparkling blue eyes. He stroked her cheek with his free hand and tightened his grip on her fingers.

"I want a chance to get to know you. I guess what I'm asking is, will you go out with me?" Alex asked nervously, his eyes darting across her entire face.

"Sure," Rachel breathed.

He smiled brilliantly down at her and she mirrored it. But the moment his lips melted into hers, she regretted ever saying yes. There was no shock against her mouth, no heat running through her veins. She didn't feel the butterflies dancing in her stomach, or the desire twitching in her fingers. She didn't feel her heart flutter like the wings of a golden snitch. She didn't feel much of anything at all. He pulled away, a breathless smile painted on his lips.

"We should get back to the common room," Rachel strained a smile.

Alex nodded and rose to his feet, pulling her with him by her hand. He laced their fingers together and, with a brief squeeze, he led them towards the tower. Rachel knew dating Alex was a mistake, but she couldn't do anything about it, now. She had already agreed to it, she couldn't back out already. Maybe it would be good for her to have a distraction from Sirius and the pain she had felt because of him. But was that fair to Alex?

She heard him mutter the password and the Fat Lady swung open for them. Alex guided her through the hole and held her hand firmly as they stepped into the common room. She noticed Lily sitting on one of the many couches while the marauders were scattered around her in armchairs. Rachel's eyes found Sirius lounging with Marlene propped on his lap, snuggling against his chest. His fingers were absentmindedly stroking her bare arm while he spoke to James across the table. Lily waved to Rachel from the sofa by the fire, a dazzling smile on her pink lips as she glanced at their knotted fingers. Rachel waved back and Alex began pulling her towards Lily despite her reluctance to join the marauders.

Rachel sat in between Lily and Alex on the sofa, allowing him to drape a long arm around her shoulder, cuddling her to his chest. In the surrounding armchairs, each marauder sat around the coffee table. Remus nodded at the couple over his book and Peter simply eyed them before closing his eyes for a nap. James' hazel eyes flickered between Rachel and Alex for a moment before darting towards Sirius. The final marauder glared dangerously at the new couple, breathing heavily and audibly as his knuckles crunched. He seethed as he stared, daring Rachel to look at him. When she did, she wiped any doubt off her face and smiled at him as though it were the happiest day of her life.

"So when did this happen?" James asked carefully.

"Just now, actually," Alex replied with a gleeful smile. "What about that?" he jerked his head towards Sirius and Marlene.

"Last night," Sirius narrowed his grey eye as he stared directly into Rachel's.

"Looks like you're next, Lily," Alex winked down at her, causing her to blush furiously.

Rachel would have smiled at her friend's determination to avoid James' eyes at all costs, but she was far too preoccupied with holding Sirius' angry gaze. She raised a challenging eyebrow at him and he rolled his eyes, finally looking away from her olive eyes. She watched Marlene nuzzle her small button-nose into Sirius' neck before pressing her lips to his throat. He smirked seductively down at her and leaned down to kiss her waiting lips. Rachel turned away stung.

"It's getting a bit late," Alex noted. "I'd like a shower before bed, so I'm going to head up. I'll see you in the morning, yeah, love?"

"Of course," Rachel grinned, reveling in the speed in which Sirius pulled away from Marlene at the pet-name.

Alex leaned down and captured her lips with his. Although she still did not feel all of the things she had felt when Sirius had kissed her, she enjoyed it much more than before. She laid her pals against his cheeks before pulling away. He pecked her forehead and rose to his feet. After bidding a polite goodnight to the rest of the group, he hopped up the boys' stairs, skipping one or two at a time.

"So! What brought this on, Rach?" Lily asked with a wide grin.

"There's just something about him," Rachel said dreamily, though there really wasn't.

"He's very cute, Rachel," Marlene smiled at her.

If she hadn't been cuddled to Sirius' chest, Rachel would have smiled and agreed. But because she was, indeed, wrapped tightly in Sirius' arms, Rachel narrowed her eyes and gave a stiff nod before turning back to Lily with a forced smile.

"He had this whole speech about wanting to know everything about me. It was so romantic," Rachel gushed.

"That sounds kind of creepy, if you ask me," James stated.

"I didn't ask you, James," Rachel said calmly. "It was flattering."

"I bet it was! You're lucky, Rach," Lily smiled as she rose to her feet. "We'll talk more in the morning."

She winked her green eye at Rachel and strolled up to the girls' bedroom. Not long after, Marlene hopped off Sirius' lap and, after a longer than necessary smooch, skipped up the stairs, as well. Rachel pressed her back into the cushions and drummed her fingers against the open seat beside her while the marauders glanced at each other awkwardly. Rachel could practically feel the icy waves rolling off Sirius as she refused to meet his piercing stare.

"We should get to bed, too," Remus announced, clutching James and Peter by their biceps.

With the common room empty, Rachel could feel the thick tension creeping all around her. She lifted her gaze from her lap and met his cold stare. She glared back as she pulled her full lips into a tight white line. She watched him clench his jaw and grind his teeth together with a sickening noise.

"What are you playing at?" he snapped.

"Me? What about you?" she growled back.

"That prat nearly kills you, and you decide the repercussion should be dating him?" Sirius stood.

"It was an accident," Rachel defended. "I can date whoever I please."

"He doesn't even know you, Riatt. He's using you," Sirius stated loudly.

"You mean like you did?" she spat before she could stop herself.

"I-I didn't use you," the volume of his deep voice dropped.

"No? You took me out, snogged me and then replaced me the next morning! What would you call that, Black?" Rachel shouted.

He had to admit that it looked exactly as she had seen it. He knew he didn't use her that night, but it must have felt that way to her. He never intended…He had wanted more than one night with her since bloody third year! But when she had told him their date was a one night thing, he pushed away the idea of her and tried to fill the void with something else; someone else. He understood, now, why she was with Park, why she was so angry with him. Apologize, he urged himself. Dammit, Sirius, say something.

"You know, you really do have a gift, Black," Rachel began, her usually sweet voice dripping with venom. "You know exactly how to break through girls' barriers and get what you want. You manage to fool them every bloody time into thinking you've changed, or that they actually mean something to you. I am disgusted with myself for letting you do the same to me. I was blinded, just like the rest of them, by your brilliant act. I let you in and admitted to myself that, after all these years, I did feel something for you. But not anymore and never again."

Rachel shoved his shoulder as she stormed past him, striding up the girls' stairs with her endless legs. Sirius stared at the place she had been standing completely stunned. Rachel had just confirmed that she had felt something for him. He should be jumping for joy at the confession. But he couldn't because he had ruined everything. In his blinding frustration, Sirius kicked a nearby armchair, sending it tumbling across the common room with a crash. He pushed his fingers through his shaggy black hair, tugging angrily at the ends before rubbing his fists into his eyes. He had officially blown any chance he'd ever had with Rachel Riatt.

Fifth year carried on much differently than the four years prior. Rachel and Lily hardly spent any time with the marauders as a group. They occasionally managed to sneak Remus to the library with them, but aside from that, contact with the trouble-makers was scarce. Lily didn't seem to mind the split, though her eyes wandered to James every so often. James had taken to ignoring Rachel's presence in classes which, in turn, led to ignoring Lily, as well. Rachel, however, had caught him on several occasions stealing glances at the redhead across the classroom and dining hall every day. Sirius had avoided Rachel at all costs. During meals, he sat at the edge of their group with Marlene hanging on his other side. He doted over her, giving her all of his attention although it seemed painful to do. On the rare occasion he found himself in Rachel's presence, he'd glare furiously before brushing past her and stalking off in the opposite direction.

Rachel and Alex had become inseparable over the course of the year. At first, she was reluctant to continue seeing him, let alone spend all of her time with him. But he worked his way through her barrier, and Rachel realized she was grateful he had done so. It turned out that Alex was an amazing guy, not that Rachel every truly doubted as much. He always found a way to make her laugh even on her most miserable days and he had kept her on her toes, surprising her with flowers and gifts randomly. He was smart and handsome and caring, everything Rachel could ever have hoped him to be. So, then, why wasn't she happy?

* * *

"You had better write me, Rachel Riatt," Lily warned as she wrapped Rachel in a tight embrace.

"You know I will, Lily," Rachel smiled into her friend's shoulder.

Platform 9 ¾ was as busy and crowded as always as they said their goodbyes for the summer holiday. Once Rachel released Lily from her arms, the redhead was pulled into a much looser embrace. Alex slung one arm around her narrow shoulders and released her with a smile. Lily smiled back at him.

"Behave yourselves, yeah?" Lily smirked wildly.

"Lils," Rachel blushed, and Alex laughed beside her as he laced their fingers together.

"I will if she does," Alex winked down at both of the girls.

Rachel shoved his chest and giggled as he pulled her back to his side. She noticed Remus strolling towards them to say goodbye; the girls hadn't sat with the marauders as they normally did at the end of term. He smiled down at Lily and hugged her quickly before turning to Rachel. She removed her hand from Alex's and waited for her turn. Before it came, however, the other three marauders sauntered over to them as well. As soon as Lily was out of Remus' arms, James offered his hand to Lily. She looked at it confused for a moment before smiling and shaking it firmly. James' hazel eyes glowed and he grinned down at her. Rachel smiled to herself and glanced at Sirius.

Without Marlene on his arm, he seemed to lack the confidence to stare back at Rachel. He shuffled his feet against the stones and tucked his hands away in the back pockets of his loose denim jeans. Before Rachel could catch his eyes, Remus stepped between them, wrapping his arms around her waist. Rachel locked her arms around his neck and rested her chin on his bony shoulder.

"He misses you, you know?" he whispered in her ear.

With that, he pulled away and gave her a knowing look. She glanced down at her sneakers before lifting her gaze back to Sirius' face. She offered him a soft smile, but he only grimaced in return before turning his back and marching towards James' welcoming parents. James and Peter waved goodbye and followed after Sirius. Remus threw Rachel another look and shook Alex's hand before he left, as well.

"Have a good summer, you two," Lily cried with a wave as she jogged towards her parents.

Rachel smiled up at Alex as he grasped her hand in his again. He picked up her trunk in his fist and followed her through the barrier. On the other side of the brick wall, her parents stood waiting for her with bright smiles on each of their faces. She knew them well enough to know they were more excited to meet her new boyfriend than they were to see their daughter after a year. She had written her parents months ago, asking if Alex could stay for the summer. Her requested was followed by countless questions about him such as his blood-status, his family, and his looks. Rachel had rolled her eyes at the letter, but answered nonetheless. She knew Alex would be a perfect suitor in their eyes having come from a pureblooded family.

"Mum, Dad," Rachel greeted somewhat stiffly. "This is Alex."

"Alex," her mother beamed as he kissed her knuckles politely. "We've heard so many wonderful things about you!"

"Good to meet you, son," Rachel's father shook his hand firmly.

"Thank you both for welcoming me into your home," Alex said politely.

"Oh, it's no trouble, at all," her mother grinned.

"Let us go home, shall we?" her father suggested.

"Your house is immaculate, Mrs. Riatt," Alex complimented.

"Oh, you're too kind, dear," she blushed and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Rachel, why don't you show him his room," her father proposed. "Not _your_ room! _His_ room!"

Rachel laughed loudly at her father's stern warning as she led Alex up the winding staircase by the hand. The boy chuckled softly behind her and allowed himself to be pulled wherever she brought him. She walked past her bedroom and pushed open the only other door a little further down the corridor. She walked inside ahead of Alex and waited for him to join her.

The guest room was hardly ever used, therefore its beauty remained intact. The deep navy paint on the walls contrasted beautifully against the white carpet. There were intricate swirls and elegant designs painted in sparkling silver along the walls.

"You painted these?" Alex asked, tracing one of the whirls with his index finger.

"Yeah, it's not my best work, but it's alright," she said, glancing around the room.

"It's beautiful," he breathed, and Rachel blushed.

On the opposite wall from the bedroom door, the huge bed sat pressed against a wall with two large windows on either side. The silver comforter appeared to be silk, as well as the several indigo pillows stacked against the ornate headboard. There was an enormous walk-in closet on the right-hand wall, already filled with Alex's belongings. A polished mahogany desk sat against the same wall, prepared with a roll of parchment, a new quill, and an inkwell.

"Blimey, if this is the guest room, I can only imagine what your bedroom looks like," Alex continued to gaze around the room in awe.

"Would you like to see it?" Rachel chuckled at his state of wonder.

"Your father said…"

"He was only joking, Alex," Rachel laughed and tugged on his fingers. "Come, it's just down the hall."

She led him back to the door they had passed before and pushed it open gently. She heard Alex gasp from behind her as he looked at her bedroom. The deep crimson walls held similar hand-painted swirls as the guestroom, only instead of silver paint, Rachel had used black. The polished wood floor sparkled, reflecting her silhouette as she stepped further into the room, granting Alex more access inside. His eyes danced from her incredible bed draped with ebony covers to her antique full-length mirror, finally landing on the breathtaking portrait painted on the furthest wall to the left.

Alex stepped closer, a grin working its way onto his lips as his eyes widened at the portrait. He was amazed at Rachel's talent, for the face painted on the wall were damn-near identical to the faces of the real people. Rachel had painted an enormous black willow against the crimson wall and surrounded it with the faces of her friends which moved much like a photograph would.

Lily's beautiful face with her sparkling green eyes and auburn hair flowing around her like a lion's mane. Beside Lily, she had painted James with his typical mischievous grin on his lips and his hazel eyes glancing down at Lily repeatedly. Peter beside him, with an awed look as his light eyes focused admiringly on James' profile. Rachel had even painted the tiny scars across Remus' intelligent face, a soft smile on his thin lips. Beneath Remus' head, Rachel had painted Sirius' handsome face. She had picked the perfect shade of grey for his devious eyes and even mixed some dark brown highlights among his ebony hair. She had dotted his face with a specific amount of freckles in the appropriate places. His glittering eyes circled the rest of the group before finally stopping on the final face between his and Lily's. Rachel's pale green eyes glittered with life as she gazed lovingly at each of her friends. Her soft brown hair waved around her face exactly as it did as she stood beside Alex. Her pouty lips spread into a wide grin and her nose wrinkled, and Alex could almost hear her laughter.

"This is incredible," he said, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from the portrait to gaze down at her.

"I painted it last summer, so they're not as accurate anymore," Rachel sighed. "A lot has changed since then."

"It's perfect," he pressed his lips to her forehead, choosing to ignore her last comment.

"Thanks," she smiled and guided him towards her bed.

She sat down against the mound of pillows and he sat down beside her. Alex kicked his shoes off before resting his feet on the foot of the bed next to her tiny bare feet. Rachel leaned her head on his shoulder and wiggled her tiny toes before draping her legs over his thighs. He cradled her to his chest and kissed her cheek lightly. She smiled and, turning her head, pressed her lips firmly against his.

Her fingers easily got lost in his long blonde hair as his groped at her hips, pulling her to straddle his waist. Alex's hands roamed up the curve of her waist before running back down her hips again, massaging the exposed skin at the hem of her white shorts. Rachel's fingers fumbled with the buttons of his red and white plaid button-down until she could freely run her fingertips over the hot skin of his muscular chest. She felt Alex shiver beneath her touch and deepened their kiss. She rocked her hips against his with newfound confidence and listened to his sharp inhale. She hissed as his fingers slipped beneath the hem of her pink shirt, rubbing small circles into her tan skin with his thumb. She glided her hips against his pelvis again and he groaned into her mouth.

"Mistress, Riatt…oops!"

Rachel tore herself away from Alex and blushed furiously as the tiny house-elf hid her large eyes behind her ears. Lulu rocked on the balls of her feet and knotted her fingers innocently behind her back. Rachel ran her fingers through her long hair and cleared her throat, avoiding Alex's playful smirk.

"What is it, Lulu?" Rachel asked kindly, though her breath was leaving her nose in loud huffs.

"Lulu is sorry to interrupt Mistress," she apologized, bowing low to the ground. "Master and Mistress Riatt would like for you and your friend to join them downstairs for supper in one hour."

"Okay, Lulu, thank you," Rachel smiled and watched the elf disappear with a loud pop.

"Well that was unpleasant," Alex joked with a smile.

"Shut up," Rachel smirked, smacking his still exposed chest playfully.


	6. Chapter 6

*****Thanks for reading! Hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and have a Happy New Year! This chapter is Rated MATURE! Let me know what you guys think! Enjoy!*****

**Out of the Ashes**

**6**

Dinner went just as terribly as Rachel had anticipated. Her mother had asked every question she had warned Alex she would; the same questions she had urged her mother not to ask. She watched Alex smile dazzlingly and reply politely to her probing. He answered every possible question regarding (the purity of) his family and his beliefs concerning muggle-borns and half-breeds, though he may have been admittedly vague. Her father, in a stern voice Rachel was unfamiliar with, questioned Alex's "intentions" with his daughter. Needless to say, Rachel buried her crimson face in her hands while Alex smiled and answered honestly, however he eliminated their activities an hour earlier.

"Your daughter is a lovely young woman. I only wish to have the privilege of her gracing me with her presence. If I may say, you have done an outstanding job raising such a respectable, gifted woman, Mr. Riatt," Alex glanced down admiringly at Rachel who blushed violently.

"It seems so, if she somehow managed to snag you, Alex," Mrs. Riatt smiled brilliantly.

"Well, thank you, but I truly believe I'm the lucky one, Mrs. Riatt," Alex said, glancing down at Rachel once more.

"Okay, I think we're done here," Rachel pushed herself away from the table. "Come on, Alex."

"Dinner was lovely, Mrs. Riatt," Alex complimented as he laid his cloth napkin on the tabletop.

"Oh, thank you, dear! You're so sweet," Mrs. Riatt grinned, and Rachel rolled her eyes knowing that Lulu had surely prepared the delicious meal.

Their feet pounded against the floorboards as Rachel tugged Alex up the stairs. He laughed and let her tug him inside her bedroom, closing the door behind them with a soft click. Rachel ran her fingers through her long hair and gazed up at him. He smiled and loosened the skinny black tie around his neck as he untucked his white button down from his dark denim jeans.

"You did exceptionally well, Mr. Park," Rachel teased, stepping closer to him slowly.

"Did I?" he asked, and Rachel nodded slowly.

"You did," she smirked up at him as she tugged on the tie until it came undone.

"And what do I get for my exceptional performance?" Alex played along and laid his hands over the curve of her waist.

Rachel smiled seductively up at him and snaked her hands around his neck. She pressed her body to his, pushing him to lean against the door, and twisted soft strands of his blonde hair between her fingers. He gazed down at her, his blue eyes hooded with dark lust, and Rachel leaned up to press her lips against his. It didn't even take a second for him to respond, moving his lips hungrily against hers while his fingers clutched her hips. She allowed him to pull her closer, feeling his excitement hard against her thigh. The realization of his desire for her caused a wave of heat to wash over her, consuming her in its sensual warmth. Rachel heard the faint sound of footsteps on the stairs and forced herself free of Alex's hungry grip.

"I suppose that's all," she smirked up at his dreamy stare. "For now, anyway."

"I'll hold you to that," he winked down at her.

With a final chaste kiss, Alex left her bedroom for the night and Rachel changed into her pajamas. Just as she pulled back the covers of her bed, a brown owl pecked its yellow beak at her window pane, hooting loudly. She wrinkled her eyebrow before opening the glass and taking the let from the owl's leg. It sat perched on the windowsill, waiting for another letter to be fastened to its leg. Rachel popped open the seal of the envelope and her eyes scanned the parchment wildly.

_Rachel,_

_I know the second you recognize my handwriting, you'll want to crumple this letter and toss it in the trash. Please, just…hear me out. I want to apologize for the way I've treated you these last few months. I have my reasons, although they aren't very good…they're rather selfish, actually. I've got to get this off my chest, once and for all. I've been wanting to say it since…I just can't find words adequate enough to explain…Blimey this is harder than I thought. I'm just going to say it, no beating around the Devil's Snare. _

_I have feelings for you, Rachel._

_I miss you,_

_Sirius_

Rachel sat heavily on the mattress, her eyes darting across the parchment. No matter how many times she re-read the words, she could not believe that Sirius had written them, despite his signature scrolled across the bottom of the page. She growled to herself and slammed the parchment down on her night table. She shoved her trembling fingers angrily through her long hair.

Who did he think he was? How dare he claim to have feelings for a girl he hadn't spoken to in close to nine months? How dare he put it in a letter, knowing full well they won't see each other in another two months. Nonetheless, why did she even care? Rachel had Alex, now. Why did it matter to her that Sirius had feelings for her? It's not like the new knowledge would change anything, would it?

Rachel groaned and tucked herself beneath her covers. She tossed and turned in her bed for what felt like hours before she propped herself up on her forearms. Her fingers stretched towards the tiny table beside her bed and grasped the rough piece tightly. She drew the parchment to her chest and closed her eyes, a heavy sigh slipping between her lips. Who was she kidding? This letter changed everything.

July passed quickly for Rachel and Alex, seeing as how Mrs. Riatt filled up their daily schedules with shopping trips and lunch outings with other respectable families. They had barely been giving a second of alone time, not even in the late hours of the night when she would tip-toe to his bedroom. She guessed her father had set up some sort of detection charm that would alert him if either of the teenagers left their quarters, for he would be scrambling up the staircase in time to catch Rachel hastily change her direction from Alex's room to the bathroom. It wasn't until the last week of August, the final week of summer holiday, that the two would be granted their wishes.

"Behave, won't you, dear?" Mrs. Riatt smiled as she kissed her daughter's cheek.

"I expect this house to be in the same state it is now when I return…and my daughter, as well," Mr. Riatt warned with a harsh look at Alex.

"Of course, sir," Alex replied with a slight bow of his blonde head.

"Walburga and Orion were so upset you wouldn't come," Mrs. Riatt whined. "Are you sure you wouldn't like to join us, dear? A week on a tropical island would be a nice change, don't you think? I'm sure Regulus would enjoy your company. Both of you!"

"No, Mother," Rachel said firmly. "We'll be fine here."

"I will give the Blacks your best, yes?" Mrs. Riatt asked, though there was no room for real discussion.

Rachel didn't bother replying. She only smiled as her father pressed his lips to the top of her head. He grasped his wife's hand and the two apparated away with a loud crack. Rachel slowly turned her gaze to meet Alex's, a wide smile spreading across her lips. He smirked down at her in return and easily caught her waist in his hands as she threw herself into his arms. Her lips ravished his as she pushed his body into one of the walls in the large foyer. She only detached her swollen lips from his when she felt herself getting lightheaded.

"Well what should we do, now that we're all alone for a straight week?" Alex asked, running his fingers across the slightly exposed skin of her abdomen.

"What have you wanted to do since you got here that we haven't been able to?" Rachel asked, gently scraping her nails over the smooth skin of his biceps.

"I could think of a few things," he growled as he nuzzled his nose into the crook of her neck.

Rachel giggled and moved her head, granting him easier access to nip and suck on her throat. He pulled away with a grin and gazed down at her for a long while. She saw his Adam's apple bobble in his throat at his swallowed before clearing his throat.

"In all seriousness," he began, "I would love for you to show me more of your artwork."

"Oh, sure," Rachel said in surprise. "Come to my room."

She led him to her bedroom and opened the door without a sound. Her fingers shook as she knotted them together in her journey to a door Alex had not noticed before. She opened it and stepped inside with Alex trailing close behind her. As soon as she stepped into the hidden room, it filled with bright light. Her green eyes surveyed the countless canvases and portraits hung around the large space. A white tarp with tiny droplets of colorful paint was draped over the floor beneath a large easel. Rachel stepped further inside, allowing Alex further entrance and she watched his eyes dance around the room in wonder.

"This is incredible, Rach," he breathed as he stepped up to a few different paintings.

Finally, he sat down on the small stool positioned in front of a potter's wheel. He stared at the slab of white clay positioned in the center, and Rachel giggled as his brow furrowed in confusion.

"You wet the clay and spin it to make pots and vases and stuff," Rachel explained, standing behind him. "Would you like to try?"

"Oh, no, I don't reckon I'd be any good," Alex declined. "I don't want to waste your things."

"It's easy. Look, I'll show you," Rachel smiled.

She tied her long hair out of her face and wet the slab as she stood beside Alex. She cupped her hands around the clay and pressed the toe of her high heeled shoe against the wooden pedal. She smirked as she heard Alex gasp from her side as the wheel began spinning in a slow circle. Rachel molded the clay as it spun, feeling it stick between the cracks of her fingers.

"You try," she said softly.

"I dunno," Alex said, eyeing the clay hesitantly.

"I'll do it with you," Rachel smiled. "Give me your hands."

He obliged and held his hands out for her to take. Rachel lifted her foot from the pedal, bringing the wheel to a slow and steady stop as she grasped his hands. He obliged and held his hands out for her to take. Rachel lifted her foot from the pedal, bringing the wheel to a slow and steady stop as she grasped his hands. With her palms resting against the warm backs of his hands, Rachel guided him towards the mold of clay and began spinning the wheel again. She giggled at the look of disgust that flashed across his face as it quickly became one of intrigue and amazement.

"Wicked," he grinned as Rachel moved his hands up and down the clay, shaping it into a tall cylinder. "Where did you learn to do all of this?"

"My uncle is an artist…was an artist," she corrected quietly.

"Was?" Alex asked, tilting his head to face her over his shoulder.

"He was murdered at the start of the year. Death Eaters," Rachel's tone had grown angry rather than sad.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Alex frowned and pecked her lips lightly.

"That's okay. He died because he stood by his beliefs. They killed him because he refused to join them," Rachel continued. "I couldn't be more proud, honestly. It just made it real; a war's happening out there."

Alex watched her while she spoke, her green eyes struggling to hold back tears as she focused so intently on the shape their hands were forming. Her emerald eyes glittered and she bit her bottom lip in an attempt to refrain from crumbling. Alex admired Rachel's determination, but he wanted her to know she didn't have to put up a wall when it came to him. She did not have to keep up this image of the unbreakable, independent woman she had worked so hard to develop.

Alex had spent the past few months working his way through her barriers. He had meant what he said when he told her he wanted to know all there was to know about her. He wanted to see her be vulnerable when all she wanted to show was bravery. He wanted to see her come undone when she was trying so hard to keep it together. He wanted to feel her love when she tried to be so cold.

Without a second thought, Alex gently pulled his hand from hers and laid his fingers against her cheek, turning her face to his. He captured Rachel's plump lips with his own and kissed her with every ounce of passion he had inside of him. His lips moved rhythmically with hers to a slow and steady pace. Her hand quickly cupped the nape of his neck while his held both sides of her face. Alex wasn't sure how long they stayed kissing just like that, but his pounding heart told him it had been a while. However, when she pulled back as slowly as possible, he knew it was not long enough.

"I got clay in your hair," Rachel giggled apologetically.

"It's okay, I got it all over your face," he smiled back at her and poked her small nose with his clay-covered fingertip.

She squeaked and wrinkled her nose in protest, a beautifully bright smile on her pouty lips. She pulled him by his fingertips to stand and led him from her art studio. She walked beside him to the bathroom and turned on the 'his and hers' faucets with a clumsy nudge of her elbows.

"Would you like to go by the pool after we've cleaned up?" Rachel suggested with a quickly sideways glance at him.

Alex nodded his head and left the bathroom after drying his hands to change into his navy blue swim trunks. Rachel laced the thin strings of her lavender and white polka dot bikini top behind her neck before stepping into matching bikini bottoms. She wrapped a heavy white beach towel around her, tucking it securely beneath her armpits, and slid a pair of white sunglasses up the narrow bridge of her nose. Barefoot, she padded down the winding staircase and made her way through the enormous house to the backyard.

Even behind the black tinted shades, Rachel squinted her eyes against the blinding white sunlight. She draped her towel over one of the several white lounge chairs and sat down gracefully. She swung her long legs around, laying them over the white plastic and she laid back to bask beneath the brilliant golden sunshine.

"You're not going to come in the water?" she heard Alex's playful voice call.

She peeked over the round rims of her shades and her lips quirked into a soft smile. She shook her head, her chestnut curls billowing around her face. Alex pouted at her as he slowly walked down the steps into the crystal clear pool.

"You and I don't exactly have the best history with water, do we?" Rachel teased back, throwing Alex a dazzling grin when he frowned remorsefully.

"I can teach you to swim if you'd like," he offered.

"I don't think that's a good idea, love," Rachel nibbled on one of her long nails.

"Come on," Alex whined. "You taught me the whole pottery thing. I can teach you to swim. It's a fair trade, I think."

"Fine," Rachel smiled, though a nervous tremor shot through her bones.

She trudged towards the steps and dipped the tip of her toe into the blue water. It wasn't cold, but it certainly wasn't warm. As she sunk both her feet down to the next step, her ankles and calves were engulfed in the cool liquid. Down another step and the water swallowed her up to her bellybutton. Alex reached out his hand for her to hold onto, and Rachel gladly slipped hers inside his fist. Alex eased her off the final step and pulled her towards him, easily noticing the shivers running up and down her slender body.

"How exactly do you plan on going about this?" Rachel questioned warily, her teeth chattering inside her mouth.

"I'm going to have you lay back in my arms, and I'm going to help you learn to float," Alex smiled down at her.

"Are you out of your bloody mind?" Rachel's eyes widened and she spoke frantically.

"Perhaps you'll learn to trust me, as well," Alex mumbled as he bent his head to kiss her lips slowly.

Rachel felt as though Alex were sucking the terror out of her body straight through her full lips. With his strong arms locked around her, she was completely at ease while his lips worked steadily over hers. She barely noticed her feet leave the smooth floor of the pool as Alex dipped her backwards. She gasped as the cool water emulsified her long hair and soaked her scalp. Alex expertly slipped his tongue towards hers and flicked it repeatedly, sending Rachel's fear miles and miles away. He cradled her in his arms and laid her just along the water's surface. He begrudgingly detached his lips from Rachel's and smiled down at her.

"You're floating, darling," he whispered, his lips brushing hers light as a feather as he spoke.

Rachel's eyes widened at the realization and she felt her heartbeat speed up as she began to panic. Sensing this, Alex rubbed small circles into her skin with his thumbs as he kept her steady. He spoke in hushed whispers as he cooed soothing words in her ear.

"You're okay, Rach, I've got you," he whispered. "I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

She calmed at his words. Rachel relaxed in his arms, once more, and he slowly swayed their bodies in the water. The once chilly water suddenly felt incredibly warm as she gazed up at Alex who smiled down at her lovingly. Her grip on his neck slackened, and soon she found herself spreading her long arms across the bright blue water while Alex spun them in a sluggish circle. He beamed down at her newfound comfort and loosened his hold on her. Before long, Rachel was keeping herself afloat and paddling herself in the same relaxed circle around Alex.

"I'm doing it, Alex!" she cried joyfully. "I'm floating!"

He grinned at her excitement and watched her boldly flip her body over, so her front was submerged in the pool's contents. Her eyes screamed in terror, but soon she smiled again. She kicked her feet and swiped her cupped hands through the water, swimming for the first time in her entire life. She laughed loudly at the pride coursing through her veins as she swam from one side of the pool and back again. Her feet found the floor and she clumsily propelled through the waist high water towards Alex. She threw herself into his open arms, flung her arms around his neck and kissed him hard on the mouth.

"That was incredible," she grinned and kissed him again.

"I told you I could teach you," Alex teased, but his mockery was ignored.

Rachel grinned and got out of the pool, knowing Alex would follow soon after. She wrapped her towel around her flawless body and dried herself off a bit. She noticed the way his ocean blue eyes glanced back at the pool and he crouched down at the water's edge. He swiped his fingers through the sound water back and forth causing little ripples to form minute waves. Rachel smirked to herself and moved silently behind him until she could lay her hands on his shoulders. She shoved him hard and laughed loudly as he yelled before hitting the water with a big, clumsy splash. His blonde head bobbed out of the water and he shook his long hair out of his eyes. He glared at her playfully before a smirk began pulling at the corners of his beautiful mouth.

"You're gonna get it, now, Riatt," he growled and began pulling himself out of the water.

Rachel squealed and bolted towards the mansion, her bare feet slapping the stone pathway as she ran. She could hear Alex barreling after her, his loud laughter ringing in her ears. She grinned as her feet slipped on the hardwood and she barely caught her balance enough to leap up the stairs. She only slowed when she reached her bedroom. Just as she was about to shut the door, Alex's hard body slipped through the crack and closed it for her. He smirked wickedly down at her and Rachel smiled as she tiptoed backwards. Alex barely had to extend his arms for his fingers to capture her narrow waist and pull her to his chest.

"That was not very nice, Miss Riatt," he spoke against her neck before pressing an open mouthed kiss to her damp skin.

Rachel only smirked up at him as he pulled away, a lustful gleam floating in the blue seas of his eyes. She stood on her toes to kiss his lips, balancing her weight on her palms against his bare chest. His fingertips trailed along her exposed skin as his arms snaked tighter around her torso, pulling their bodies flush as he deepened the kiss. Rachel could feel the heat rolling off his body in waves, crashing over her. With a sudden urgency, her fingers grabbed at his muscular back before tugging on the ends of his dripping blonde hair. He sighed deeply into her mouth as his own hands became bolder in their movements, stroking and groping at any part of her they could reach.

Before long, Rachel toppled backwards onto the soft mattress with Alex right on top of her. His thick fingers stroked her cheek delicately, brushing away the wet strands of hair that stuck to her face. Their lips smacked together loudly, their teeth clattered together in their haste, but neither seemed to care. Rachel whined in protest as Alex removed his lips from hers, but a pleasurable sigh soon replaced her pouting as he began sucking on the sensitive skin of her throat. He tongue slid down her neck and over the top of her chest where he continued to suck. His hands slithered around her back, which Rachel had arched, allowing him to untie the strands of her bikini top. He tossed the soaking wet article to the floor and quickly began devouring the newly exposed skin.

His tongue flicked across her pebbled nipple and he sucked hard, earning a loud moan from Rachel. Her fingers were long lost in his thick hair as he continued to tease her breasts. Rachel's hips wriggled and lifted on their own accord, a foreign sensation tingling between her thighs. She and Alex had snogged countless times, but it had never gotten further than that before. Never had she let him remove her clothes and touch her the way he was then. She began to wonder why she had ever stopped them before.

On the next rise of her hips, Alex's hand that was not busy massaging her breast caught her thigh and held her high up. He moved his pelvis, grinding against her at a torturously slow pace. Rachel breathed another moan and felt a hot shiver spark up her spine. Alex's hard member pressing against her untouched parts was enough to drive her mad. She bucked her hips against his again, desperate for the friction that caused the wonderful sensation through her entire body. She felt him hiss a sharp breath against her chest before he gently placed her lower half back down on the mattress.

He gazed up at her with hooded indigo eyes while he continued to press hot kisses all over her flesh. One hand left her breast, gliding over her flat abdomen and playing with the elastic of her remaining article. He watched her eyes grow wide with wonder and his fingers dipped beneath the fabric. Without removing the bikini bottoms, his gentle fingers rubbed against her in slow circles. Rachel's eyes fluttered closed as she threw her head back in ecstasy. Alex watched her facial expressions confidently while he felt the wonderful throbbing of his erection.

Acting on instinct alone, Rachel dragged her hand down Alex's rippled chest. Without warning, her fingers plunged beneath the elastic and grasped him in a tight fist. She smirked to herself as he sucked in a sharp breath before groaning into her neck. Rachel tauntingly moved her hand up and down his long length as slowly as she could. She brushed the head with her thumb and felt him jerk against her. As she began to pick up her pace, his fingers moved quicker over her sensitive nub as well. Her legs began to tremble violently while her hand worked quickly. She moaned loudly when one of Alex's long thick fingers sunk inside of her and began moving in and out rapidly. She cried out, the sensation becoming too suffocating and incredible to bear.

With both hands, Rachel forced Alex's swim trunks down his toned legs, freeing his pulsating erection. It stood straight out and Rachel stared at Alex in all his glory. His blue eyes watched her closely for a reaction while she bit her bottom lip sensually. Her green eyes traveled from his face, down his muscular torso, back down to his large private parts. Rachel almost blushed and turned away until Alex captured her swollen lips in a hungry kiss. He continued to rub her beneath her bottoms as he kissed her passionately and Rachel resumed her pumping over his dick.

She knew that Alex was close; she could feel him swelling to maximum capacity inside her fist. She was almost there, too, but somehow she wanted more. With neither being very experienced, Rachel took the lead in progressing things even further. She removed her hand from Alex and tucked her thumbs beneath the remaining fabric. Alex's hand stopped its movements as he watched her curiously. With one sure tug, the material slid down her smooth legs, dropping to the floor to be forgotten.

Alex marveled at her fully exposed body, a sight he had seen only in his dirtiest dreams. Even then, his dreams did not compare in the slightest to the beauty laying there before him. Her tanned skin glowed and her cheeks were slightly flushed with heat. Her olive eyes were glossy with lust as she stared up at him waiting. Anywhere his eyes went, his hands followed carefully as he committed the sight to memory. His dreams would never be lacking again.

Rachel reached up and cupped the nape of his neck in her hand, pulling him to kiss her again. His lips moved over hers, their tongues swiping against each other as they explored. He nudged her thighs apart with one knee and positioned himself in between. The tip of his erection brushed against her slippery folds and they sighed simultaneously. He pulled away once more and gazed into her eyes, seeking confirmation and reassurance; he had to be sure she wanted this as badly as he did. Without speaking, Rachel lifted her hips and let her lower lips lick at him in reply.

Alex leaned down to kiss her once more. As he guided himself towards her opening, he felt Rachel tense beneath him. He kissed her harder to comfort her and help her through the pain they both knew would come. The head of his penis slipped in easily, but the rest of her shaft would prove to be much more difficult and painful. She dug her long nails into her bare back as he pushed into her gently. She felt her walls ripping apart, spreading wide to make room for the foreign being. On the last painful push, she cried out and bit down on his shoulder blade. Alex kissed her neck and then her cheek and finally her lips as he began to move in and out extremely slowly.

Soon, the pain was replaced by pleasure. What had hurt terribly mere moments before, now felt amazing and Rachel was openly pleading for more. She wiggled beneath him and sighed, breathing his name out in an airy moan of encouragement. He began speeding up the thrusts of his hips until Rachel's moans became cries of pleasure and he knew she had reached climax. Only then, did he allow himself to hit his own peak and crumbled to pieces on top of her. Alex collapsed against her, their chests rising and falling rapidly together. Rachel combed through his hair, sticky with sweat, and pressed her lips to the top of his head until sleep overtook them both.


	7. Chapter 7

**Out of the Ashes**

**7**

"Don't you look at me like that," Rachel growled.

She was sitting alone in her bed, wide awake in the late hours of the night. She was glaring at the much too accurate portrait she had painted of her friends. His grey eyes were eyeing her where she sat against her headboard with her thin arms locked across her chest. His eyes seemed to be judging her, criticizing her for her actions and that was _not _how she had painted them. She clutched the crumbled bit of parchment in her fist. Having reread his writing over a thousand times, Rachel could easily recite the letter verbatim. They seemed to echo inside her head as though she had actually heard him speak the simple words, an idea that caused a dreadful wave of regret to crash into her.

"Argh!" she groaned, throwing her water glass at Sirius' painted face.

It smashed with a satisfying bang, drizzling the floor diamond shards. She angrily shoved her fingers through her hair and dug her palms into her eye sockets. She was so frustrated with herself. She should be over the moon right now, thinking about her boyfriend sleeping just down the hall. Instead, she was miserable, drowning in her regret over some bloke who hadn't spoken to her in months. All because of the blasted letter in her fist, Rachel couldn't even enjoy the leap her relationship had taken.

Six days had passed since Rachel lost her virginity to Alex, and they had not done it since. Rachel knew Alex was growing concerned and slightly frustrated with her distance, though he never said so aloud. She had taken to shutting herself away in her studio to paint and draw while Alex did whatever he felt like doing around the house which mostly involved swimming or flying around the grounds. They mostly saw each other during meal times which passed with an awkward silence that Rachel refused to let Alex break.

Rachel wasn't sure why Sirius' words were haunting her so terribly. She didn't know why she felt so guilty for sleeping with Alex. She only knew that, somehow, it was wrong. She had considered writing to Lily about Sirius' letter and what had happened with Alex and the feelings she was overcome with afterwards. However, whenever she picked up a quill to write her best mate, she felt too ashamed to write a single word. She hoped that seeing Lily in person tomorrow morning would make it easier to confess.

"Rach?" Alex's voice called from the other side of her bedroom door. "You okay?"

She considered ignoring him in the hopes that he'd go back to bed. But with a heavy sigh, she buried Sirius' letter deep in her night table drawer and called for Alex to come in. He smiled at her, the white moonlight bouncing off his bare chest. He walked slowly across the bedroom floor and sat on the edge of her bed. He smiled nervously at her and reached for her hand, which she gave him a little hesitantly.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked quietly, the sadness in his voice broke Rachel's heart.

"Why would you think that?" she replied.

"Ever since we…you've been a bit distant from me. I can't help but feel like I've done something to upset you. If I offended you in some way-"

"No, Alex, you didn't offend me. I'm fine," she lied. "I've just been thinking about some things."

"What kinds of things?" he asked anxiously.

"I don't know. Stupid things, really," Rachel shrugged. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Oh, so it's about Black, then," Alex stated.

"What?" she asked, urging herself to keep the guilt-ridden panic from her voice.

"You never want to talk about it when it's about him," Alex said gently. "So what is it, love?"

Rachel remained silent, wondering how she could possibly voice her concerns without hurting Alex too terribly. She didn't think it was possible to be honest without crushing him. But was lying really that much better? She took a deep breath and decided to begin with a truth.

"Sirius wrote me," she said curtly.

"Saying?" Alex encouraged, stroking her fingers gently.

"That he- that he misses me," she internally kicked herself for omitting the part about his feelings for her.

"And you miss him, too," Alex stated knowingly.

"I suppose so, yeah," Rachel admitted slowly.

"Oh, Rach," Alex moved closer to her on the bed and wrapped her up in his arms. "It's okay to miss one of your friends. Is that all that's been bothering you?"

She nodded against his shoulder; she didn't trust her voice enough to speak.

"When you see him tomorrow, I want you to go to him and tell him how you feel," Alex said into her wavy hair. "Why didn't you just talk to me about this?"

Rachel felt the shameful tears burning her green eyes. She shook her head against him again and shrugged her shoulders. He rubbed her back soothingly and kissed her shoulder before pulling away from her. She hoped the glassiness in her eyes was invisible to him in the darkness.

"I thought, perhaps, we could spend the night together. It's the last chance we'll get for a year," Alex reasoned.

"Sure," Rachel tried to sound eager for him to slip beneath her covers with her.

When he did, she snuggled up to his warm chest. His arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close to him. Alex fell right asleep with her in his embrace, but Rachel laid awake. She rolled so that her back was towards him and Alex responded by cuddling up to her. With the soft satin pillow beneath her face, she let her tears drip down her cheeks, staining the fabric with her remorse.

Seeing Lily did not help to rid her of her guilt. It did, however, make her feel even worse. Rachel wrapped her arms around Lily's back and forced away the desperate desire to crumble in her arms. While Alex greeted the beautiful redhead, Rachel subtly brushed her fingertip beneath her green eyes to catch the tears that were threatening to fall. After releasing Lily from his embrace, Alex kissed Rachel's lips lightly and went off in search of his other friends.

"Okay, what's the matter?" Lily asked quietly and Rachel stared at her dumbfounded. "Honestly, Rach, you're my best friend. I know you well enough to know when you're about to freak out."

"Let's get to a compartment, Lils," Rachel brushed her off.

The Hogwarts Express had pulled from its station, making its way down the long winding track towards Scotland. The two Gryffindors searched for an empty compartment they could have to themselves, but it seemed as though every student had already settled in and claimed them all. Rachel felt Lily's emerald eyes watching her from the corner of her eyes. She inhaled a deep breath and stopped walking, laying her hand on Lily's forearm to stop her too.

"Sirius wrote me," Rachel whispered. "Saying he has feelings for me."

"He did not," Lily's eyes grew in disbelief. "When? Why? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I don't know, July? I really don't know why he decided to tell me. I didn't tell you because I was kind of ashamed," Rachel trailed off.

"Ashamed? But why?" Lily asked quietly.

"I slept with Alex," Rachel confessed, and to her intense humiliation, tears flooded her eyes.

"Rachel, that's nothing to be ashamed of!" Lily draped her arm around Rachel's shoulders.

"It is! Lily, I'm in love with Sirius," Rachel moaned, covering her face with her hands.

"Bloody hell," Lily whispered.

"This is bad, Lily. I thought I had buried any feelings for him a long time ago. Then, he sends that stupid letter and they all come back, bubbling right at the surface," Rachel breathed deeply, attempting to stop the idiotic tears.

"What about Alex?" Lily asked gently. "I thought you really liked him."

"I did- I mean, I do! I just don't know how to be 'just friends' with Sirius," Rachel admitted.

"Don't be friends with him at all, then," Lily suggested, and almost flinched under Rachel's narrowed gaze.

"I can't do that anymore. I miss him, Lily," Rachel ran her fingers through her hair. "I still have feelings for him."

"What if you don't, though? What if his letter, his confession, just got too far into your head? His words are messing with your mind," Lily stated carefully. "Would you be feeling this way if Sirius had never sent you that letter?"

Rachel thought about that for a moment. Would she? She had gone almost a year happy with Alex. She had been able to ignore any feelings she may have once felt for the raven-haired boy. Lily was right. Sirius was just getting in her head, playing his typical immature games. She would bet her last sickle that he was locked in one of these compartments snogging some girl's face off at that very moment. She glared at the wooden panel wall across from her and shook her head at her own ridiculousness.

"I bet this is just one of his stupid games," Rachel said through her straight white teeth.

"Maybe, but what if he meant it?" Lily asked, and Rachel did not have an answer. "What are you going to do?"

"Oi, Evans! James wants to know when you'll be kind enough to grace him with your presence," his voice called further down the narrow corridor.

Rachel's fingers balled into tight fists at her sides as she leaned her weight to look past Lily's slender frame. Sirius was leaning casually against the doorway of his compartment which, more likely than not, contained the rest of the marauders. His skin had tanned slightly over the summer holiday due to outdoor quidditch matches at James' house, probably. His strong jaw was dirtied with black stubble, indicating he hadn't shaven in over a week. His grey eyes shone brightly in contrast to the shiny black hair hanging slightly in front of them. He pushed his fingers through his shaggy locks and smirked openly at the girls.

At least he had been smirking. Once Rachel started storming towards him, Sirius' smirk fell from his pink lips and his grey eyes grew confused. Without warning, Rachel shoved him hard and pinned him to the wall, her forearm pressed to his throat beneath his chin. She glared venomously up at him and he stared back at her with huge shocked eyes. A few curses had slipped through his teeth in surprise and Rachel snarled at him, shaking him violently.

"Who do you think you are?! You don't talk to me for months and then say you have feelings for me? In a letter, no less!" Rachel shouted in his handsome face. "What the hell are you playing at, Black? You think this is some sort of game? You think you can just waltz back into my life, claiming to have bloody feelings for me, and everything would be fine and dandy again? You think you can just write a quick letter and have your way? Well you can shove that idea right up your ass, you stupid selfish son of a bitch!"

Rachel hadn't felt herself being pried off of Sirius, and she didn't realize someone had pressed her back to their chest, holding her back while she shouted. In all her shouting, Rachel had seen nothing but red. She hadn't seen Lily or the rest of the marauders crowding around them. She hadn't heard them begging her to calm down and release her tight grip on Sirius. When she finally became more aware of her surroundings, she found herself panting and wriggling around in Remus' firm hold. He was whispering calming words in her ear, but Rachel didn't want to hear any of it. She threw herself out of Remus' arms and stepped slowly closer to Sirius as he rubbed his sore throat.

"I will never be a part of your stupid games, Sirius Black. Never," Rachel growled through gritted teeth.

She glared at him, barely resisting the urge to slap him across his stupidly gorgeous face. She gave him one final shove, throwing his body backwards into the wood paneling again, before turning on her heel and storming down the corridor.

"And shave that ridiculous shit off your face!" she shouted over her shoulder.

Sirius sighed heavily and leaned his head back to rest against the wall she had violently thrown him up against. His fingertips stroked his prickly jaw before shoving them through his thick hair. He dragged his hand tiredly down the length of his face and dropped it heavily to his side. He didn't hear Lily sharing hushed words with James on his right. He didn't see Peter nearly wetting himself, his beady eyes darting between Sirius and Rachel as she walked away, her hips swinging lusciously along the way. He didn't feel Remus' eyes watching him thoughtfully, but he felt him lay a supportive hand on Sirius' shoulder. Remus frowned down at him and guided them both back into the compartment to endure the torturously long train ride back to Hogwarts.

* * *

"Are you sure you're alright?" Alex asked, laying his hand on Rachel's knee.

"For the last bloody time, Alexander, I'm fine! Just leave me alone!" she cried, earning a sharp hiss from the nasty librarian.

Rachel breathed deeply and packed her books away and shot to her feet despite Alex's protests. She barreled out of the library and she heard Alex following behind her, calling her name loudly. She ignored him, swinging her rucksack over her shoulder. When he reached for her hand, his skin stinging hers, Rachel ripped her hand away and whirled around. She glared up at him and ran her figners furiously through her long hair.

"Alex, just leave me alone. Please," she voice struggled to remain calm.

"What did I do, Rach? Please, just tell me so I can fix it," Alex begged pitifully and the guilt hit Rachel like the Knight Bus at full speed.

"You didn't do anything," she replied guiltily. "I just need some time. I'm sorry."

Without waiting to hear his sad response, Rachel turned around and continued away from him. The more distance she put between herself and Alex, the more Rachel's remorseful thoughts weighed down on her. Her pace slowed drastically and she began rubbing hard circles against her throbbing temples. Her high heels clicked against the stone as she made her way to her newfound sanctuary. She paced in front of the empty wall three times muttering the same words she had every night for the past month she'd been back at Hogwarts.

"I need a calming place to think about all of this."

The door appeared before her as it had since she found the mysterious room and Rachel slipped through it. She dropped her bag at the door and kicked off her black pumps, walking further into her safe haven. She sat down on the soft grass of her special meadow, fanning her school skirt around her. She ran her fingers through her long brown hair and imagined a soft breeze blowing through it. She gazed up at the ceiling which had, upon her command, become a beautiful night sky dotted with shimmering white stars. In the serenity of the room, Rachel let her confusing thoughts hit her full force.

The last month had been extremely trying for Rachel. Lily had, by some miracle, grown closer to James thanks to their shared prefects duties which, in turn, made her closer to the marauders. Rachel was not fond of the blossoming friendships for her own selfish reasons. To spend time with Lily these days, it meant spending time with James, Remus, Peter and most annoyingly Sirius. It didn't take long for Rachel to start making up excuses not to hang out with Lily in the common room. Rachel couldn't quite recall the last time she had a proper conversation with Lily, just the two of them.

On top of the drifting she was experiencing with Lily, Rachel felt herself becoming distant from Alex, as well. She felt so angry every time she looked at him and her blood boiled anytime he spoke. Rachel was growing colder towards him with each passing day, and she could see the hurt on his handsome face so clearly in her mind. She'd lose her temper far too quickly and lash out at him, only to have him give her those puppy dog eyes that gave the impression she had just kicked him. She knew he was getting frustrated with her uncalled for mood swings and, although she felt guilty afterwards, Rachel couldn't stop herself from doing it over and over again. Perhaps that was her subconscious way of pushing him away, or giving him a reason to leave her. Maybe she wanted to drive him to a point where he'd be left with no other choice but to break up with her and set her free. Free to do whatever she pleased with whoever she wished.

Sirius had, obviously, was a huge reason behind Rachel's abrupt mood changes. He had taken to following her around and attempting to corner her into speaking to him since their encounter of the train. She had hoped that her outburst would have deterred him from approaching her, but she should have known better; this was Sirius Black she was dealing with. In classes, Sirius would arrive early in order to sit beside Rachel wherever she sat down. But she was smarter than he was and, evidently, willing to risk more. To avoid sitting with him, she'd stopped low enough to sit in the midst of a group of Slytherins for double Potions and Transfigurations. Though that did prevent him from speaking to Rachel, it did nothing to stop him from staring at her across the classroom.

Although Rachel would never admit it aloud, she wasn't as angry with Sirius as she thought she was. In all fairness, she had not given him a proper chance to explain himself to her prior to attack him and then avoiding him, a fact she had realized her second week coming to the meadow room. What if he really had meant what he said in the letter, and Rachel never gave him a chance to say so? What if she had? Would it have really changed anything? Of course it would have. It would have changed everything. She would have finally been able to express her feelings for Sirius. He would have taken her into his arms and kissed her like he had that night in Honeydukes. He would have claimed her for his and she would be in a relationship with the one she loved. She would have been happy.

There it was. She felt it bubbling inside of her. The unjust anger she felt towards Alex for things that were not his fault. It was not his fault that he was not Sirius, nor was it his fault that Rachel did not for him what she felt for Sirius. It was not Alex's fault that Rachel did not feel electrocuted by his touch, or frozen by his stare, or crippled by his kiss. He could not help it that while he gave her everything he possibly could, Rachel yearned for something else. But it wasn't really her fault either, was it?

"Rachel?"

She scrambled to her feet and reached for her wand…which was safely stowed away in her rucksack beside the door behind him. He held his hands up in defense and stepped slowly closer after shutting the door behind him. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly as she watched his eyes watching her face closely. His eyes looked nervous and his lips opened and closed repeatedly without a single words passing through.

"Please, don't run away. Just give me a chance to explain. Please," Sirius begged as he cautiously came closer, his hands falling slowly to his sides.

Her body relaxed slightly and Rachel made no move to bolt past him, though something inside of her shouted at her to do so. Stupidly, she found herself wishing she hadn't discarded her shoes. Somehow, standing before him without them made her feel self-conscious and vulnerable. She watched him push his black hair out of his face as his grey eyes darted across her face anxiously.

"Can we, maybe, sit down?" he asked carefully.

Rachel kept her lips tight together, but nodded nonetheless. She led them slightly deeper into the meadow and sat down on a mossy patch of grass beside an indigo pool of water. The small pond was surrounded by small violet wild flowers peeking out behind tall blades of emerald grass. Rachel tucked her legs beneath her and watched Sirius skeptically as he sat down beside her, crossing one leg beneath him while the other drew up towards his broad chest. Her wrapped an arm around his knee and clasped his fingers together tightly while his grey eyes focused on the sound water before him.

"So I'm assuming you didn't take well to my letter," he began quietly.

"Did you expect I would?" Rachel countered defensively.

"Not really, no," he chuckled without humor. "Which part of it upset you?"

"Are you honestly that daft?" Rachel spat. "Which part of it shouldn't upset me, Sirius? You go months without speaking to me and then suddenly confess these feelings you supposedly have for me. How was I supposed to take that?"

"I thought you might feel the same for me," Sirius said, and for the first time in all the years Rachel had known him, he seemed small. "I never meant to upset you."

"What reason do you have to believe I might feel the same? I have a boyfriend, Sirius. Or have you forgotten?" Rachel snapped again, her green eyes wild with frustration.

"You don't love him. I can see it in your eyes," he said confidently. "You're angrier with him than you are with me."

"Maybe that's because," she cut herself off and turned her eyes away from his.

"Because why, Ray?" he pressed.

"Because I have feelings for you," she confessed.

And suddenly, everything changed.


End file.
